ˈLitl Sən (Little Sun)
by iceSTEP
Summary: AU: Oliver is Al Sah-Him heir to the demon and saves Felicity from the island. Roughly based on SaraXNyssa meeting in cannon but diverges.."What the hell Felicity! You're dating the heir to a demon?".."It's complicated.".."He basically said you were a sack of potatoes he was going to throw over his shoulder and drag back to Assassin's Island with him." Sara hissed.
1. Chapter 1

_AN: just something that came to me after all the al sah him stuff that's been happening. It's an AU if Sarah and Felicity were stranded on the island together. Where Sara becomes the hood and Felicity is found by A Sal-Him to join the league, it focuses mainly on them so everyone else's back story falls to the wayside a little.  
The tense is all over the place and I haven't edited but eh. This is my first fic for the fandom, for those wondering I AM still writing count me in, I've had half of the next chapter for months. I've just had a major block with it._

… _.._ **ˈLitl** **Sən….**

She had to make sure they were okay.

It was what she told herself over and over again, that she would return.

But she didn't want to.

It hurt too much; she couldn't stand the killing any longer.

No matter how much she loved him, how grateful she was. It wasn't enough anymore, not after… not after the last time. Maybe she was broken now; it's what it felt like, like she could never find who she used to be even if she searched for the rest of her life.

No, she wasn't the same. She couldn't stay here, she wasn't that person anymore. She was what he made her, forged in fire and death.

And maybe that was okay to.

It would have to be.

She was surprised about what she had learnt from her return home. Her mother was responsible for the collapse of the glades, her mother and Tommy's father.

Tommy.

She swallowed feeling tears prick her eyes as she stood behind a tree at his funeral. It was severely lacking in attendance considering how many friends he supposedly had but she understood why. His father was a mass murder, his father had MURDERED him. And she would never see him again, what she used to hold onto on that island was gone. She would never to return him; she wasn't his to return to anymore.

They'd lost their claim to each other long before the island anyhow.

-0-

She'd been surprised when Sara had revealed herself as the vigilante. It shouldn't have surprised her but it did. Of course she would be looking out for her sister, just like she was. She had gasped shaking in the bonds around her as she slid off her mask to reveal herself to her, telling her that life would never be the same.

Sara fumbled pulling down her hood herself.

"Felicity?" she whispered astonished, reverent.

It had been too much so she ran.

Until she couldn't, she wouldn't let her. She should have known she wouldn't have let her. The last time Sara had let her run from her problems (i.e. Tommy's cheating, again.) she'd gotten on a boat with her bound for China.

And that had turned out so well.

She would never _not_ blame herself for ruining Sara's life that day.

-0-

John Diggle was wary of the silent Blonde who appeared like smoke in the foundry. She was sitting at their computers, that didn't look like their computers anymore (Barry would be pissed) like she hadn't a care in the world. He pulled out his gun but by the time it was pointed at her it had already been knocked out of his hands. Hanging from the wall swinging by a knife, she hadn't even turned around to glance at him.

"SARA!" he shouted and she ran tumbling down the stairs terrified as she planted herself immediately in front of him defensively before she caught sight of what he was staring at.

She sighed in relief but was still tense.

"You don't call you don't write," she joked staring briefly at his gun that was hanging from the wall. "Did you buy me new computers?" she asked puzzled as she approached the woman like they were old friends.

John knew then that this was the woman who was running around in black, the one who'd made Sara as pale as a ghost when she'd returned last night.

"Your system was horrible and it hurt me in my soul," she tried for levity and she almost pulled it off as her eyes darted around taking in her surroundings. Yep, thank god Barry wasn't here. He'd probably get super offended and say something offense to the scary lady with the knives.

"You're alive," was all Sara could say, she was still a few feet away but Diggle could tell she wanted to be closer.

"Felicity"

So THIS was Felicity. The woman who'd she'd gotten on the boat for. The woman she loved, she hadn't overtly stated that to Diggle more than once but it had become obvious in the brisk bits of information he'd been able to pick up. They'd had a brief conversation when she'd begun dating Nyssa about letting go and moving on.

She'd admitted to John that there had been a one sided attraction for most of their friendship but that was all it had ever been. _"She had Tommy and she didn't like me like that you know? And I think the fact that she never would made it easier to love her, to never lose her… until I did… It's all my fault you know, how she died, it was my fault."_

"Sara," she said and her voice shook slightly besides her carefree demeanour. "I missed you," she told her with a faint smile and Sara faltered as she tried to string words together. "Where? How? How are you alive?"

"I survived the wreck and swam to the shore." She said sparsely as she glanced at Diggle.

"But you, you know how to fight," Sara accused finally finding her bearings over her emotions and Felicity sighed nodding. "I do... Someone found me, took me in and taught me to protect myself."

Sara seemed okay to skate over the details for now, "why now? After all this time?"

Felicity paused, her face showing more emotion, real emotion instead of the smile she'd been portraying. Biting her lip slightly in a way Sara remembered she did when she was nervous.

"I needed to make sure she was safe, that they were safe." She said softly her face becoming forlorn and then John remembered she'd dated that Merlyn kid before everything happened all those years ago.

"Felicity I'm so sorry," Sara began a rush of guilt overflowing her as she thought about Tommy, how he died to protect her sister.

She held up her hand, "he saved her life, or so I'm told. He would have liked that." She said amicably with faint sadness before standing up. She was glad that they'd found each other in the mist of hers and Sara's 'deaths,' that they'd had each other.

"Why are you here now?" Diggle asked with a narrowed gaze as he watched her movements carefully, afraid to be shish-ca bobbed by another projectile.

"My family, they can't know that I'm alive Sara," she said telling Sara solely as her eyes bored into hers.

Sara's jaw twitched to show her displeasure, "Felicity," she drew out. "They think your dead it's not fair, your sister needs you."

"It's not that simple," she snapped for the first time and Diggle's hands clenched and the woman sighed running her hand through her pony tail. "The people who I was with- My family can't be in my life. This is better, safer. I need you safe." Her eyes snapped back to Sara who was glaring.

"I can take care of myself." She snapped back at her friend irritated and Felicity laughed slightly taking another step forward.

"I know I can see that and I'm proud of you. You turned the ugliness of what happened to us into something purposeful. She would have been proud to." She looked pointedly at the hood hanging over a chair and Diggle furrows his brow not having been privy to whatever they were talking about now.

Sara clenched her hands at the memory, "I can help you Felicity." she resolutely before her eyes softened imploring. "Let me help you."

Felicity closed the distance and pushed some of Sara's hair behind her ear and Sara closed her eyes at the motion almost sighing. Part of her still believed she wasn't real. That she wasn't really here, she had drowned. After Slade she had drowned.

"Not this time Sara, but if you need me… Call me on this." A phone was pressed into her hands.

"Wow what's happened to my computers?" Barry called out scandalised and Felicity's hand jerked on reflex. The knife barely missed his face.

"Felicity!" Sara scolded in a growl and she winced looking like her old self for a moment before she looked horrified.

"S-sorry I- I'm sorry."

Sara hugged her and Felicity clutched at her back but didn't allow the tears to fall. She didn't cry anymore, not in front of people. But she hyperventilated as she gripped at Sara's sweatshirt breathing in the familiar scent that was mixed with new.

The unknown. Something she wasn't a part of. She wasn't a part of this and she never would be; she was a mercenary, a murderer.

Is this where she would have ended up if they hadn't separated that day?

"Who won't let you stay Felicity?" she asked softly after a few minutes running her hand through her hair, striking her with a memory of someone else's hands moving through her hair.

Her chest tightened before she straightened and told her.

Felicity planned to return after the first member came, breaking into her old home. She'd just been thankful Thea wasn't there. It was hard; her love was fighting against her broken soul. She missed Thea, and even her mother and Sara. She liked her friends, what she was doing for the city. She could have a real life here, one where she didn't kill people.

But it would be a life without him.

In the end that had been enough of a push for her to return.

The assassin's threats rang in her ear that night. She wouldn't have her family harmed because of her and she couldn't leave him, not really.

Felicity had been ready to leave that morning, had said her goodbyes to Sara and her friends when she changed her mind.

It was the morning that she fainted in the foundry.

The morning she couldn't come back from _it._

 _This._

At least she would carry him with her now.

It would be enough.

It would have to be.

-0-

Maseo came for her next; she killed one of them that day in the clock tower and left him to relay the message.

"It's time to come home ˈLitl Sən. Al Sah-Him will be displeased if I do not return with you." Maseo tried a last time as he balanced outside of the clock tower window.

Felicity pushed him out, breathing heavily as her hands hovered in front of herself defensively.

She was frantic when her mother had been poisoned in prison. Partly for her life and partly for what was to come.

Pit viper.

He was _here._

And she knew he wouldn't leave without her.

But she _couldn't_ leave with him.

But maybe she could make him see reason. It had sounded false even to her own ears.

"So you just want to go say high to the assassin who POSIONED your mother?" Sara asked incredulously as Felicity stomped around her lair arming herself with weapons and pulling out her pony tail. Her lipstick was smudged by her teeth from biting them.

"It was a message for me, I can talk to him. I know I can." She was nodding to herself but who was she kidding? She almost wished it was another no face assassin to come to collect her. Maseo had said the orders were dead or alive but gave her a measured look that told her **he** had stepped in and gave his own orders under his father's.

No mere member was going to kill the heir's beloved.

He'd once broken someone's hand for touching her too familiarly. Tao been a new member and it had been a friendly gesture of greeting she hadn't thought much of. Until her beloved had snapped his hand like a tree branch and then returned promptly to his breakfast.

She hadn't been impressed.

 _He's going to kill me._ Felicity thought with a shiver as she ran her newly coloured nails through her hair. Sara had done them the other night for her, as they were sitting on her couch not watching the movie on her TV. It had felt like old times. Almost normal, it was the best they could hope for after the island. The almost was close enough.

"I'm coming with you," Sara stated and Felicity whipped her head around to tell her she was crazy, "I'm just going to have your back okay?"

Her hands tightened in front of her. She had to tell her, she had to tell someone.

 _If only she knew._

"Okay."

 _Crap she was so screwed._

Her heart stopped when he fell at her feet, the ribbon of fabric sliding gracefully in his hand. God he was so beautiful just like when they met.

 _She was delirious, she had to be. But the blue swirls flashed in front of her again._

" _You're pretty," she told the eyes and she was met with a deep chuckle._

" _Thank you. So are you." The voice told her obligingly and she groaned as she was shifted. "Probably more so when you're not starving to death in the dirt but I guess I'll just have to wait to see."_

" _Drink this," the voice commanded and she groaned as she was shifted light hitting her eyes. Everything hurt, so much. Something was hard behind her, like a wall. Her face was shielded and the eyes were closer. "Hm would you look at that, still blue." She muttered to herself._

 _The wall shook in humour before the voice was directing her to a canteen, she tried to focus but she was so tired. "Come now habeeb, drink for me." The voice muttered and she tried not to choke when the cool liquid burned her throat._

 _The walls arms pulled her closer and rubbed her back in rhythmic circles before trying again, she spluttered and it hurt, everything hurt. "shh breathe, you need to drink. You need to drink to survive."_

 _She did as the voice asked and drank half of the canteen with shaky breaths before she collapsed against the arms. The hand was still moving along her frail back, rocking her gently._

 _When she had enough strength she turned her head towards the eyes that peered back at her own, piercing right through her. Her body's survival instincts told her these eyes were dangerous but they were also telling her that they had saved her._

" _Why?" she managed to choke out and he turned her away again to get her to try more water again. After a few more silent mouthfuls she didn't think he would speak again until he murmured quietly into the distance._

 _She hadn't understood him anyway._

" _Laki uyounul ghazal."_

' _You have the eyes of a gazelle.' He would later tell her whilst she gaped at him affronted._

" _You saved my life because you think I have deer eyes?" she asked scandalised as she turned in his hold, the bath water splashing slightly at the movement. She just missed the way his eyes rolled slightly but not the breath of a laughter that followed. The noise settled her faux irritation and she smiled softly at him. She loved it when he laughed; it was a rarity she treasured along with his smile that she was privy to more than anyone._

 _She leant towards him to brush her lips against his, their chests brushing slightly. He returned her kiss and his hands slipped to grasp her hips tightly under the water, gliding up her sides smoothly, she shivered. Felicity pulled away suddenly and he chased her lips with a puff of vexed air. "But I'm a cute gazelle right? Wait, aren't they the animal that lion's like **eat**?"_

 _He let out another breath of laughter briefer than the last as he leant his head against hers. He moved her sideways across his lap so she wouldn't hurt her neck so much by turning while he traced idle patterns on her bare thigh. "We could do that if you want to,"_

" _Wha-Oh," her laugh broke off as his hand inched higher and he stole her breath with another kiss._

His blue eyes pierced through her as he approached her slowly, knife drawn at his side. She could see the hurt and anger just in his eyes, the only part of his face visible to her, the part she could always read, except for in this moment. He stopped right in front of her and Felicity made no move for a weapon or movement at all, even as her hands itched.

To protect herself, to protect _them_.

But she had never hid from him, she wouldn't start now.

He was right in front of her when he sheathed the knife again with deft fingers and ripped the front of his mask down. There was a moment of tense decision before he yanked her forward by her head with his gloved hand, kissing her fervently. She returned it in kind for a few moments, the whole scenario having shaken her for a moment but she stilled and pulled away. Remembering herself.

He leant his forehead against hers and breathed her in deeply. He always liked the way she smelled when she wasn't on missions. Most women didn't bother with anything scented since a strong scent could give them away. But Felicity had always liked her shampoo, especially after the island. She remembered giggling and smelling her hair every two seconds after her first real bath in years.

She'd made him smell it and he'd regarded her with hard eyes before complying her indulgently, wary of the strange girl he was equally enchanted with and protective of since he'd found her on the deserted island. His mouth twitched in amusement at her pure happiness as she prattled on undeterred by his silence.

He made a point to smell her hair whenever he hugged her. It was the first time she smiled for him; he told her that it reminded him of that memory. That she was his sun.

"I've had better greetings," he told her quietly as he pulled away reluctantly from her face to see her. His arm was still wrapped securely around her, possessive even as he was angry with her. Not deterred by her pulling away, his hands flexing, he'd never let her.

"I'm sorry," she stuttered unable to look away from his eyes, still ever blue. "I didn't know what you were going to do."

He smiled slightly, his lips turning up at the sides. "Nor I honestly," he tucked some of her hair behind her ear and Felicity closed her eyes despite herself for a moment as she relished in the familiar gesture. One of many she'd missed over the last few months. It was then that she realised that they'd never been apart this long since meeting.

"We should talk," she said slowly finally getting back on track. He tilted his head slightly at her his smile in place, but it was his league smile. The one he wore when he was about to pounce.

"Do you need permission from your girlfriend first?" his voice was light but his hand clamped down tighter on her waist to indicate his displeasure of her bringing someone with her to face him.

They both turned to see Sara standing menacingly a couple of feet away from them. He let go of Felicity and angled himself in front of her before he stepped forward, she refrained from rolling her eyes at the protective gesture. She knew he knew she knew the woman in the green hood.

"I am Al Sah-Him, son of Rah Sal Gaul, heir to the demon."

"What are you doing here?" Sara snapped threateningly, her back ramrod straight. _Oh great, two alpha's, this was going to end spectacularly._ Felicity thought dryly.

"Felicity swore her allegiance to the league of assassins. It is time she returned to me." Oliver said abruptly. It wasn't lost on Felicity that he had signaled himself out from the league, and it hadn't gone unnoticed by Sara that he had said _to_ instead of _with_.

This was going to be harder than Felicity had originally thought.

"That's not happening," Sara scoffed and he took a step forward into her space. Felicity sprang into action, knowing that Oliver would kill Sara without hesitation. He had been born an assassin, groomed to take up the mantle of demons head since childhood. No matter how skilled Sara had become she would be no match for him if he wished her dead.

Felicity's hand shot out, "Oliver." She said softly pulling on his jacket sleeve. She used his name for the first time since he arrived. The one she had given him all those years ago.

He looked back at her sharply and her face softened, "may I have a moment please?" she gestured towards Sara with a tilt of her head and her wide eyes. Oliver let out a sharp breath, hesitating for a moment before relenting.

"Fine. Say goodbye." He said tightly with no room for argument in his statement. _He was being even more of a caveman than usual,_ she thought begrudgingly.

"Oliver," she said again but his eyes had hardened. His wall was up. It had been a large feat already that he'd shown his emotions for her in front of Sara, an enemy. No, they wouldn't get anywhere endless they were alone.

"Goodbyes are hard. I'm assuming that's why I never got one." He told her strained before he turned down the street. She watched aggrieved as he slunk away, his shoulders taunt as his quiver hit his back with each harsh movement of his stride. Her chest restricted painfully at the image she would be repeating. If everything went to plan he would walk away from her again.

"What the hell Felicity?! You're dating the heir to a **demon**?" Sara's voice muffled with the voice modulator with incredulity and Felicity sighed.

"It's complicated."

"He basically said you were a sack of potatoes he was going to throw over his shoulder and drag back to Assassin Island with him." She hissed.

"Okay maybe not so complicated. That's actually a really good description of him. You know he's done that once, except I was more like a sexy bag of potatoes." Felicity rambled thoughtfully before glancing back at a glaring Sara. "I need to talk to him on his own." She said seriously glancing in the direction he'd left.

Sara wasn't impressed but agreed reluctantly. "Yeah you can't really have a heart to heart with me over your shoulder." She said dryly before agreeing to meet her at the docks nearby after their conversation.

-0-

"You're different." Oliver told her with a frown as they walked side by side along the shoreline. Felicity kicked a pebble in her way, looking at her shoes carefully to avoid his eyes. They had always been a weakness of hers.

"I'm still me," she said quietly and he let out a huff of false laughter that lingered in the air due to the cold.

"The Felicity I know wouldn't have betrayed us and left Nanda Parbat under the cover of darkness." He disagreed with her, his hands clenched in resentment. She couldn't imagine what he had felt when he'd woken up alone without her that morning. What was unsaid was louder to her though, it always was with Oliver; " _she wouldn't have left me."_

"I didn't have a choice, the earthquake. I needed to see my family and make sure they were safe." Felicity said her hands itching beside her as they hung uselessly without his hand that was so close but felt further away than ever before.

He stopped walking, "and so they are." He allowed the emotion to enter back into his voice, "Now come home." For the first time that night it wasn't a demand, it was a plea.

She closed her eyes, "I can't." she turned around to meet his hurt gaze, vulnerable, _only with her, only for her._

He would whisper those words to her when he was upset, when they were alone and he allowed himself to feel. Like the time he was made to execute his friend of many years, a traitor to the league, to the family, like she was now. Felicity had held him that night, when he'd returned silent and far away. Her hands soothed him as she ran them through his short hair and along his body, whispering reassurances to him. Tears splashed her arms as he gripped her small body tightly to him.

She loved him so much, with the rest of her damaged soul; he filled the cracks that lied broken within her, but she couldn't go back now.

"I can't go back Oliver, I'm-" she faltered and changed her mind, "I don't have much of my soul left. I can't take the killing anymore." She whispered. He knew what she was referring to specifically as his eyes sought hers. He saw the familiar pain he'd been trying hard to vanquish for months through his affection and sighed rubbing his forehead tiredly.

"I thought after...You were getting through it," he told her reassuringly as he stepped closer but she took a step back. "WE were getting through it. I know it was hard killing that-"

"Child, Oliver. He was a child."

"He was seventeen." Oliver corrected her echoing his previous condolences, when she had cried. When he had held her and shown her he loved her by kissing every inch of her, reminding her that she was the sun.ˈLitl Sən, _little sun_. His sun, his light, his soul when he wasn't sure he had one to begin with, not until he met her. He'd merely kissed away her tears. Only he could see them like she had seen his own. "I'm sorry habibi." He'd whispered in between kisses.

"You swore an oath; my father sent me to make sure you honour it. I have to take you back one way or another." He told her trying to steer away the conversation from that night, it wouldn't help them now to rehash things already past, a past that still haunted her. His face returned to his mask that he wore when he bared the weight of the league.

The weight of the Demon.

"We both know that's not why you're here Oliver." She told him quietly and his mask slipped slightly as he grasped for her hand tightly. It slid up her arm, cool leather against her skin before it cupped her face gently. She leant into him slightly.

"I found you Felicity, that day on the island. You were dying and I brought you to Nanda Parbat. You wouldn't be alive today if it wasn't for me. You can't just leave." _Me_. He wouldn't say that right now, not while he was angry, his caring nature that he only showed her was gone. He gripped the side of her face and she saw the resolve and desperation haunting there.

 _Sara had been right; she was his sack of potatoes._

He wasn't going to leave without her. But she needed him to. Felicity blinked when something he'd said stood out to her and she furrowed her brow looking up at him.

"I wasn't with you because you saved me Oliver... I was with you because I loved you." She watched as her lie sunk into his face and her stomach clenched. She maybe should have waited to speak until he wasn't gripping her face.

His hand tightened as it moved to weave in her hair that was loose at her shoulders, "not anymore?" he asked rhetorically and she tried to turn away from him, he didn't let her, his grip persistent. "You haven't even been gone four months." Oliver grit out as he pulled her face closer, roughly by her hair. She didn't wince, allowing him this, knowing how painful her words were to him. His lips brushed the edge of her ear and she shivered, her whole body missed his. Felicity felt his mouth curve into a ghost of a smile for a moment or smirk she couldn't be sure. But she knew he'd felt her shiver.

"I don't believe you," he whispered harshly before releasing her. She swallowed taking a step away from him to reroute the conversation, which didn't go unnoticed by him.

"Ra's listens to you, you can get him to release me." She pleaded.

"No," he shook his head running his hand through it disbelievingly at her words. "He doesn't and my father has never released anyone." He let out a breath of laughter, "except for Malcom Merlyn and we all saw how well that turned out."

She took a breath and stepped into his space again, he watched warily as she slowly raised her arm to rub her hand up the side of his face, into his short hairs that she loved so much. That left marks it would leave on her pale skin, marks he would absently touch when she was clothed afterwards remembering there placement.

He watched her carefully his eyes never leaving hers as she leant into him on her toes to pull them together in an intimate embrace. He pulled her closer into him for a moment, as he softly wrapped his arms around her. Oliver turned his face into her hair and then grazed his nose across her cheek down her face.

Felicity's breath stuttered slightly in response "Do what you have to," she told his hair, her voice shaking. He gripped her tighter, not moving for his weapon, or at all. There was a moment of tentative silence before Felicity moved his hand across the knife strapped to his right side.

The one she'd accidentally cut her hand on when she'd first met him. He hadn't known whether to laugh or not as she muttered out loud to herself about being useless. That no wonder she' been starving to death when she couldn't even pick up a knife without almost killing herself.

His hand shook under hers with anger, "I intend to." he whispered harshly before he pushed her away from himself, she stumbled slightly disorientated and when she looked up he was gone.

Felicity wrapped her arms around herself and allowed the tears to fall as she stared out into the darkness.

-0-

Her sister was a line she foolishly thought he'd never cross. "Don't hurt her!" she cried into the phone panicked when she was only received with an icy response and an address.

"Oliver," she pleaded.

"Don't call me that! You've lost that right!" he yelled angrily into the phone.

"I'm the _only one_ who calls you that!" she snapped at him before he restated she had an hour and hung up on her. She'd been talking to Al Sah-Him, and she'd made him angry.

He was angrier than he'd ever been with her. He loved the name she'd given him, that she called him Oliver.

Sara came crashing into the warehouse surprisingly in her civilian clothes. She rushed towards Thea who was crying hysterically, she hadn't wanted her to be anymore frightened if she saw her as the vigilante.

Al Sah-Him, heir to the Demon stood stoically a few feet away. He didn't move but was poised for an attack. He watched with blank eyes as Sara untied his beloved's sister, his eyes only moving away when she herself strode into the warehouse.

"Felicity?" her sister, Thea asked incredulously.

He watched Felicity swallow before making eye contact with him and nodding once. He let out a breath of relief nodding back at her sharply despite the weight that had been lifted off of his chest. She would come back home with him and they would fix this, he would fix them.

"Felicity!" she cried again as she walked to her sister and engulfed her into a powerful hug her eyes only left his as she closed her own to relish her sisters embrace.

One she hadn't felt in years.

It was harder than he thought, listening to her sister sob, not for her but for Felicity. He tried to forget about how she'd spoken about her, when she first opened up to him about her past and her family. How she missed her.

"Your alive, I can't believe you're alive."

Felicity smoothed her sister's hair over like one would to their own child as she gripped her face. She wiped under her sisters eyes, "I love you so much Thea. I'm so proud of you, you're the strongest person I know and you'll get through this." She told her resolutely.

"Leaving you again will be the hardest thing I'll ever do." He barely heard her whisper as it carried across the stagnant silence of the warehouse.

He watched as Felicity nodded to Sara over the girl's shoulder closing her eyes briefly and kissing her crown. "I love you so much."

He stopped himself from flinching, his hands twitched but not for his bow, it was out of discomfort. He remembered how Felicity always teased him about the tick he'd tried to grow out of for half of his life. His father had always scolded him for it, dolling out harsh punishment in training whenever it became obvious to him, that it was a sign of weakness. Oliver had frowned irritated at her teasing's but she'd only lifted his hand to her mouth to give the tips of his fingers a delicate kiss. She looked up at him beneath her lashes, "I love it." She murmured into his skin. ' _I love you'_ she had mouthed in a delicate whisper. _  
_

_'I love you so much.'  
_

The girl had wailed when Sara ripped her from her sister. She shouted "NO" over and over again. He would hardly remember what she looked like when this was all said and done but he would remember her screams as well as he remembered the screams of those he had tortured, of those he had killed. Despite never laying a hand on the young girl he had ripped away her remaining family, family that was already lost to her.

She was lost to her. She hadn't been her sister in a long time. She was the league's now, _ˈLitl_ _Sən_. She couldn't live by two names; she couldn't go back to who she was. She was dead here, to these people, it was best to leave it that way. Oliver reached out his hand for Felicity who stood immobilised, nodding again to her as her eyes reached his unshed with tears.

He had always been a selfish man.

She walked slowly towards him the sounds of the other two women leaving left his mind as they stumbled out of the warehouse. All he saw was her.

And then she stopped mid stride her tears flowing freely.

"Please," she whispered as her hands circled her stomach, gripping the fabric in shaking fists. "Please Oliver." It was her last plea.

It was then that he realised why she was really leaving him. His hand shook slightly as he approached and lifted it to one of hers that was circling protectively across her flat stomach.

"You're leaving me because you're pregnant?" he asked slowly even though it was clearly a statement. He was equally relieved to find the answer to his burning questions as he was terrified of the prospect. He had implemented contingency plans if he hadn't been able to persuade her but he hadn't foreseen this.

He'd kidnapped her sister because it had been the fastest option to get her back home. Efficient, not without its repercussions but he would manage, they would manage. She would forgive him eventually; he hadn't even hurt her sister or that stupid girl in the green hood.

He'd thought of convincing his father to keep her as a member purely for her technological skills, where she wouldn't have to kill. She was by far the best versed in Nanda Parbat where they surrounded themselves with tradition and would be invaluable there. She would also be safe, not even having to leave the island much or at all.

Oliver had even considered allowing her to reside here in Starling until he took over as the Demon's head in a few years. Where he could simply take her as a consort and there would be no one to defy his will as he would be at the top of the pyramid.

He had thought of many paths but he hadn't considered this particular one.

Felicity was pregnant with his child but did not wish to raise them in Nanda Parbat with him. He thought briefly about what it meant for her to want to continue this at all, without him there. She clearly wanted the child with the way she was clutching her stomach and the way her eyes were frantically looking into his, baring herself to him.

Pleading,

She wished to be released from the league and by extension him.

She didn't want their child to be a murder like them, like _him._

He wasn't sure if he desired that either to be honest. But she wanted to keep them, keep a part of him with her, it was how she would be able to let go of him. He was flushed with a spark of anger because within her plans he wouldn't receive such solace.

He would have nothing.

And he didn't want nothing, he wanted her, _them._ As startling as the revelation was he was not unhappy, she was pregnant with his child, _his child._ They had never talked about children but he knew it was in his future, a future he'd planned to have with her. Becoming the Demon's head attributed him certain responsibilities like continuing his bloodline.

But he'd never really thought about it knowing it was in a more distant future. He knew she would be a fantastic mother though. She would be kind and compassionate whilst himself stern and unyielding. The light to temper his dark, perfectly balanced. He saw her holding a small smiling infant that had his eyes and her smile and he was struck with burning want.

He wanted that with her, no matter the timing.

His hand slid up from where it was placed over hers to her wrist, up her arm and to her cheek, leaving a trail of heat in his wake, his hands were oddly bare, as his touch burned through her thin cardigan. She closed her eyes as she waited for him to speak. Oliver paused before he whispered an apology into her hair; his hand moving to a pressure point on her neck. She fell into his embrace her expression startled before she lost consciousness. He tucked her hair behind her ear as he whispered one last phrase, sweeping her into his arms and carrying her out of the warehouse and into the night.

"Anaa ataajok."

After all he had always been a selfish man.

.

.

 _Fin._

 _AN: I googled the Arabic stuff so sorry if it's off. **"Anaa ataajok."** Roughly means; **I need you**._

 _ **Habeeb:** Sweetheart (can mean the same as Habibi but for the scene I meant sweetheart.)_

 _ **Laki uyounul ghazal:** You have the eyes of a gazelle. (Apparently in Arabic poetry gazelles are metaphorically referred to as beautiful women. There are references to the 'lethal spears' of a beautiful woman's gaze. –In my universe Oliver saw that she was a fighter in her eyes and that's why he saved her, because she was a survivor.-The phrase can seemingly also mean he has fallen under her spell sooner than she.) not that I'm an expert or anything please don't yell at me for being wrong It's just me and the google. _

_**Habibi** : My love _

_I'm thinking about writing a follow up with her back in Nada Parbat with him after the ending. Maybe with more flashbacks to their happier times seeing as how she'll be really pissed at him after this. Like when she named him Oliver and her learning to fight or something. Anyway let me know if you'd like more._


	2. Chapter 2

_AN: Wow so crazy response thank goodness I was keen to write a follow up myself haha  
I hope the happy flashbacks make up for the sad present. Anyway this is where I went, have fun_.

 **..…..The Selfish Man.…..**

Al Sah-Him was fourteen when he killed his first man. He doesn't remember his face but he remembers the smell. The smell of that much blood leaving someone's body, he could practically taste the copper in the air on his tongue. He remembered the smell of the last meal he has eaten on his breath, how his own hands had shaken. Even afterward they became slick with blood, his breath heavy despite trying to temper it. Regain his control.

It never really returned even, like his lost innocence.

He remembered his father's hand clamping on his shoulder, prideful. He remembered feeling sick at the slight elation in his chest. For the first time in his life his father was proud of him, he still craved approval then, acceptance and love. He wanted to be loved; he wondered what it was like, what it was meant to really be like.

He wondered if he even deserved it now that he was a murderer.

It left him eventually, the desire for his complete approval and Acceptance. He understood he would never truly have it. Al Sah-Him was not a son first but a tool for his father to use and mould into his likeness, his vision. Ultimately he decided that that was how he would make peace with himself.

He wouldn't be his father.

At least not completely, some habits are ingrained so deeply they have no hope of breaking; Even if he was given eternity. He'd come close though, with her in his life. He felt like a whole person for the first time since he ran his sword through that man. He didn't think he could lose that now, who she had made him; _her_ _Oliver_. What had slowly become his sanity, his grace and in part his redemption. His love for her had surpassed weakness for him, it was his strength; together they _were_ strength.

Oliver remembered the night his father had summoned him to speak of his concerns about Felicity. He was afraid he was becoming too attached.

" _I do not see the problem. My work is still satisfactory is it not?" he'd inquired tightly, he'd been dreading this conversation for weeks. Keeping his and her time together mostly platonic in front of others. But it would have taken a blind monk not to see the change in his demeanour._

" _You've never spent this much time with one woman Al Sah-Him. I don't want you to think you haven't any other options." He kept his face as impassive as his fathers as he tried to calculate where he was directing the conversation. After all these years and training his father still ran circles around his mind playing games with him._

" _I see no fault in spending time with a sole woman. I find it less complicated," He lightened his voice not wanting his father to act brashly if he decided he did not like his choice of lover._

 _His father chuckled in that hollow way he often wondered was ever real. "Ah I see son. Do not worry, in time you will learn." It wasn't quite a jab to his sexual prowess but he found it easy to brush off anyhow. This had never been an aspect of his life his father could exploit. He had always been secure in that way; it was why he had brought it up. His father saw his affection for weakness._

" _I understand your attraction to her. She will become a fine member," his father appraised and he didn't like the glint in his father's eyes as he spoke of Felicity. He gritted his teeth, clenching his fist around his chopsticks; he knew he was just trying to rile him up. 'Never show your hand, you end up with a knife in your back.' He chanted silently._

" _Once she's broken in a little more of course." His father finished amicably nodding a smile on his face. He swallowed almost snapping the chopsticks in half as he tried to make his face form anything but a grimace._

Oliver awoke with a jolt reaching for his blade instinctively. He sighed running his hand along his face as he recalled the memory. He took in her sleeping form beside him; she was still asleep. He hadn't been out long then…. It was for the best, he knew with almost certainty that if she'd awoken before him she'd try to stab him with his own blade.

Non-fatally of course, she'd grumble all she liked about this but she wouldn't kill him. He knew she still loved him but he also knew that she could hold a grudge. Regardless she wasn't stupid, he wasn't the only league member on the plane and she wouldn't risk the baby stabbing the heir to the league.

Oliver sighed as he carded his fingers through her soft blonde hair, it would probably be the last time he got to do this for a long time. She stirred a few minutes later and he stilled his actions warily not moving. He knew not to move from under her or she would attack on instinct in an unfamiliar place.

Felicity blinked warily shifting her head that he'd placed in his lap once they were situated in the air. She suddenly shot up hand covering her stomach, he wondered if she'd been doing that the other day when they'd met, before Thea and he just hadn't noticed.

He waited patiently as she did a quick sweep of the plane with her eyes before they fell on him. He caught the fast flying fist to his face by her wrist. He kept his face carefully neutral as she tried again, avoiding her eyes. He didn't want to see her expression.

She reached for one of her knives and came up empty. She patted herself down quickly as she got to her feet. She swayed slightly from the abrupt change and he got up to steady her but she batted him away with a growl. One he would have laughed at under different circumstances.

"Don't touch me! Where are my weapons?" she demanded and he sighed.

"You think I was going to let you be armed for this conversation?" he asked her flatly looking past her shoulder.

When she tried to hit him the next time he didn't stop her. He let her hit his chest with her closed fists, barely flinching at the dull pain it left in its wake. He deserved this, and she seemed to realise that he wanted it to. To feel less guilty, so she started to falter. He heard her ragged intake of breath; it was the sound she made before she sobbed.

She bottled it quickly though, going deathly silent as she waited for him to react, to say something to apologise, _anything._

"Are you even going to look at me?" she asked quietly and he flinched not looking towards her. He hated when she was quiet. It was easier when they yelled at each other, making both their feelings known. He didn't know what to do with this; it was like she said she needed air except she wasn't trying to leave. He remembered how confused he was when she'd first said that to him. It wasn't an expression he understood in the context she was using.

" _It means I don't want to talk to you right now!"_

" _Why didn't you just say that then?!"_

But she wasn't yelling now. In fact she moved to leave the compartment they were alone in. Felicity paused at the doorway, "I hope you didn't hurt our child when you knocked me unconscious." She said bitterly slamming the sliding door with a force that shook it completely.

He winced letting out a long sigh. _Well it probably could have been worse._

Felicity was heartbroken, she hadn't. She didn't think he'd actually knock her out and take the choice away from her completely. As…protective and possessive as he could be he'd never done anything like… _this._ Oliver didn't control her. He liked the fact that she'd never given a shit that he was basically ninja royalty. It had been a big part of their beginnings, he said he didn't want to change her, even when she'd become a full member of the league.

" _You're the best person I've ever known, you still are."_ He murmured to her that night when she was sure she'd lost all of her humanity, all of who she once was.

But if he loved her why had he done this? They didn't even get to talk; she waited for him to process in the warehouse. It was what Oliver did, he needed time. She thought they would argue; that she could make her case. She thought that he would let her go, at least for now.

 _But he hadn't._

All she did was give him enough time to make his choice, one she wasn't a part of.

She wasn't sure she could forgive that.

"'Litl Sen," a familiar voice called to her nodding in acknowledgment.

 _Tatsu was here._

"I guess you're here as peace offering," she joked weakly and the older woman tilted her head to the side as she appraised her dishevelled form with sympathy. Tatsu had been close friends with Felicity ever since she arrived on Nanda Parbat. Their friendship began out of convenience as Masao was one of Oliver's closest friends, if he had any. It then grew into a close friendship that she stacked only behind Sara's. She trusted Tatsu as closely as she could trust someone who was in the league, well besides Oliver who she trusted implicitly _. At least she used to._

"You threw my husband out a window." She said dryly but Felicity saw the mirth lingering there, it was more conversational than anything and she nodded slowly.

"If you want to be technical it was a clock tower. I'm sure he's fine Sarab's like a cat. He probably landed on his feet." Felicity shrugged thankful for the lightness of the conversation as she moved to sit beside her friend. There were two more league members in the compartment and she recognised both of them from Oliver's usual detail.

 _Clearly were going for digression here._ She thought dryly and was struck with a small amount of contentment knowing that Oliver was probably really freaked out she hadn't yelled more. She was angry by god she was angry but she wanted to let him stew in it first, to grovel.

Or to at least look chastised!

He'd expected her to yell at him now rather than Nanda Parbat.

If he thought she was going to pretend for him in front of the league he had another thing coming.

"Can I speak with you for a moment 'Litl Sen?"

She ignored him; it was all she could muster out of her bag of petty tricks. She heard him sigh audibly.

"' _Litl Sen."_ He stressed slightly louder, like she might have just not heard him.

"Felicity," he snapped and she looked up from where she was lounged almost regally by the window. It was strange for him to address her as such in front of others; he must be more affected than even he realises.

"So talk," she said with a shrug looking back out the window. He shot her an exasperated look and then looked sharply at Tatsu who shrugged. She wasn't touching what was going on there; Felicity hadn't said anything about it or anything at all for hours. All she gathered was that Al Sah-Him had had difficulty persuading her to return with him…. Which was unusual, they were such a formidable couple, always together.

"Privately," he said curtly but Felicity didn't look away from the window. She could tell by his tone that he was fist clenching mad but trying to hide it.

She turned to him blankly as she spoke matter of fact. "Well then send everyone away."

"Stop being stubborn, we have matters to discuss." His eyes narrowed as he put upon his league voice. She was aware of the eyes on them, she didn't care.

"How nice for you," she said remaining calm; she knew it would make him angry. Oliver always had a temper and the fastest way to rattle him was to remain calm when he was agitated. Being condescending also usually helped.

"'Litl Sen," Tatsu said warningly under her breath but she ignored her, eyes glued to Oliver, unmoving in challenge.

"Give us the room," he snapped to no one in particular, his eyes never leaving Felicity's. When the four league members filed out soundlessly Tatsu threw one last look at Felicity who shook her head. She crossed her legs daintily as she looked expectantly at Oliver.

"Feel better?" he snarled. He never allowed himself to be dressed down in front of anyone, even by Felicity. This was the first time for her to even try anything like it, challenge his order in front of other members, but he knew he had to allow it if it was a stepping stone to forgiveness.

"Not even close," she hissed at him. "What do you want Al Sah-Him?"

"We're alone Felicity," he said puzzled looking towards the door. Only trusted men were here and Felicity had never been much for rules.

"I know. I'm just complying with your wishes. No more Oliver." Felicity said careful to keep her voice void of emotion. She was referring to their phone call, when he'd kidnapped her sister. Yeah she hadn't forgotten that either.

"I didn't mean that. I was angry." He tried searching her blank face, he saw under it, he always saw under it, saw _her_. She was hurt.

Oliver had trouble swallowing his guilt.

He was in real trouble.

 _"Oh my god, is this a castle? Like a real castle? God it's hot here." She added looking around dazed on her feet as she followed him slowly across the bricked path._

 _He couldn't tell you why he was happy the girl had decided to go with him. The way she had trusted him since he'd found her on Lian Yu. It wasn't anything he'd ever experienced before, especially from a stranger._

 _He should have seen it as naivety but there was something about the strange blonde woman that sparked_ _ **something**_ _inside of him. So he'd saved her, he could see she would fight, could see she already had by the few scars she had. The way her eyes darted to his men, their weapons, by the fact she hadn't died before he'd found her._

 _It seemed foolish to let a beautiful creature go to waste like that._

 _Al Sah-Him had been right, she was even more beautiful not covered in dirt._

 _He briefly explained where he was taking her but he wasn't sure if it was her sickness talking when she agreed. She was barely up to strength; in fact he was alarmed that she was walking considering she was on the brink of death a few days ago._

 _"You are very peculiar." He said perfunctory, at least she was always surprising._

 _"Thank you blue eyes." She said taking it as a complement. He seemed to like her weirdness even if he didn't speak much._

 _His lips twitched, "have you forgotten my name Felicity?" He asked her with a hint of amusement. The strange name fell off his tongue in broken syllables that made her heart stutter._

 _"Would you be awfully offended if I said yes?" she asked with a wince of her face and he tilted his head at her assessing._

 _Yes, he would be slightly. He was a legacy, people quivered when they heard his name. It was often the last thing they ever heard. No one had ever just forgotten his name, he frowned slightly and then she was talking having caught it._

 _She looked sheepish, "there were a lot of parts to it and then something about a demon? I was kind of out of it at the time. And then it was too late to ask you know? I hit the awkward waiting limit and you're looking at me like I'm crazy again."_

 _"Forgive me I've just never seen anyone fit so many words together in a single breath." He said honestly. She tilted her head trying to decide if he was making fun of her or not but his words seemed nothing but genuine. He also didn't seem the joking type. He was nothing like Tommy._

 _"It's a gift." She decided on lightly and he nodded with serious agreement and a furrowed brow that made her want to snort._

 _He was kind of adorable._

 _She stuttered in her walk and he gripped her elbow with firm pressure to support her. A flash of emotion passed his face as he looked her over before it disappeared again. She shouldn't be walking. "I shouldn't have let you walk," he muttered to himself putting more pressure on both her arms holding her up more as she sagged._

" _I want to; I don't want you to carry me to him. I need to, I need to do this." She muttered knowing he was taking her to her father who ran the league. He'd been pretty sparing with the details just that he would make sure she got better, keep her safe, teach her how to protect herself. It had seemed like a pretty sweet gig but the longer she was around them she was starting to get a better idea of what she was in for._

" _I'm not weak," she muttered thinking back to the horrors she'd suffered through on Lian Yu already._

" _I know that, your insides are fire Felicity. You have the will to live, but you're not up to strength yet." He told her quietly still supporting her as they stood in the middle of the hallway._

" _I think that's the most you've ever said to me at once," she muttered slightly amused and he let out a breath that could have been amusement or exasperation, she wasn't sure._

" _Why don't I carry you until we get to the right corridor?" she looked unsure by his offer and he raised a brow at her hesitance. It seemed the most logical course of action but he reassured her, having picked up on her stubborn nature on their journey here from Lian Yu._

" _There are a lot more corridors, it is as you say 'castle like,'" her lips twitched at his attempt at humour. She sighed as she looked down the long dark hall in deliberation. "Carry away hero," she said in mock exasperation as she held out her arms and he couldn't help but scoff._

 _She barely caught his next words, "I'm no hero Felicity." He said them quietly, resigned, so matter of fact it got to her as she was swept easily into his arms, like she weighed nothing but he still held her delicately._

" _So we never got back to your name." she said with an easy smile to pull him away from the sombre mood that had just befallen him. She peered at his expression; she was much closer to his face as they walked now. She could see he wasn't too much older than her, except his eyes seemed to hold so much more experience than hers. Pain. He'd seen hardships; she could see that already by his weathered attitude and stiff personality. But as she was held closer in his careful embrace she knew his hands healed as well as they destroyed._

 _She doubted he saw that though by his guarded and sad eyes._

" _Al Sah-Him," He stated simply his footsteps echoing into the silence. Felicity didn't even try to hide the way her nose crinkled in displeasure and he couldn't help the rumble in his chest at her reaction._

 _Yes she was peculiar indeed._

Felicity couldn't stop thinking about the first time she came here. He had brought her, _saved_ her.

Now he'd locked her in their room.

Well technically he left two guards outside the door but the sentiment was still the same. He didn't trust her to stay put; she wouldn't trust her either if she dragged her here against her will. Apparently he'd gone to settle her return with his father without her; well it's what she gathered from his short grumblings. Felicity was sticking to the silent treatment since it pissed him off the most. He'd been practically seething when he dragged her off the plane and into their shared room.

She hadn't uttered a word since she'd refused to call him Oliver.

She paced their room like a caged animal; all the weapons they kept in here were gone. Even the hidden ones were gone, even HER private hidden ones. She flipped over the table that had a bowl of fruit sitting on it, mocking her with its normalness.

Like she wasn't being held prisoner in the room she'd called home for the last four years.

She thought about breaking one of the chairs legs just so she could hit him with it but she'd frowned as she touched the wood tentatively. She _liked_ this chair though, that thought just made her angrier.

She shouldn't care about anything in this room.

She wasn't going to stay here and have it ruin her memories for her. Felicity turned to their wardrobe and started pulling out clothes tossing his to the floor, they jumbled with her own. She found his shirt she always wore, she was taking that. It was basically hers and extremely comfortable. She stuffed the bag until it was full and kicked a pair of his pants across the floor for good measure.

She nodded like it had actually accomplished something before mentally scolding herself. She had no idea how to be mad at Oliver.

Like really mad, because she was really mad. All she'd ever done before now was get some space until they could talk and make up, there was normally yelling and then sex. She didn't know how to do this.

She was so…mad.

And _hurt,_ she was so incredibly hurt.

And as more time passed she only got angrier. How dare he just leave her in here? She was going to kill him; it had been well over an hour without word from anyone. She kicked over one last chair in her haste to open the bedroom door. At least she could yell at the guards or make small talk. She could go either way right now.

Felicity slammed the door open and was unsurprised when two swords fell forwards to cross over each other when she tried to step out. She tried not to roll her eyes when she recognised one of the hooded figures despite the obstructive material. She turned towards one of them with a steeled gaze.

"Bring me Al Sah-Him. Tell him I wish to kill him," she seethed looking right into Sarab's eyes; he made a tsk of annoyance, probably because she just openly threatened the heir but she gave absolutely no fucks right now.

"He's still in counsel with the Demon's Head and is not to be disturbed." Sarab told her sternly and she let out a puff of air.

"Fucking coward. Like this is making me LESS angry… Men are stupid, you're all stupid. Sorry not you I don't even know you." Felicity muttered waving her arm absently to the other guard who nodded in acknowledgment as she got closer with her waving arm. "Fine, don't blame me when I jump out the window." Felicity told Sarab bitterly before turning swiftly knowing she couldn't. Oliver's rooms were the epitome of paranoid security; she couldn't jump anywhere if she tried.

"You and windows," Sarab muttered as she slammed the door, whatever she'd accomplished her goal.

-0-

" _I thought YOU were training me," she pouted as she appeared beside him in the dining hall._

" _Why would you think that?" he asked with an eyebrow raised and she puffed out some air that moved her hair away from her eyes. He was distracted slightly at the motion before he turned back to his breakfast. His spoon turned lazily in the bowl, his attention focused on her._

" _Um since you're practically the only person I talk to here? You remember when you saved me and brought me here right? So what? You're dropping me like a hot potato? Lost my shiny newness have I? Hmmm?" Felicity asked leaning over the table before she plopped down beside him to lean on her hands and stare at him._

 _His lips quirked in amusement as she tried to stare him down in the middle of the dining hall with other members milling about. Some whispered about the stupid new girl who was going to get herself killed by sitting so close to Al Sah-Him._

 _Al Sah Him was just pleased she was up and had been cleared by the healers to train. The order had come from his sister herself so he knew she must be in good health. He'd been helping her whenever he could between missions, training and specialised training with his father. They'd been on many walks across to the ends of the island to build up her fitness._

 _She had a lot of energy which she split between bouncing around and talking to him a hundred miles a minute. He followed more easily now than he did before, accepting that her train of thought sometimes jumped exponentially. He liked spending time with her, she made him feel…lighter. He thought back fondly to yesterday morning when she'd asked him to be the one to name her._

 _Then there was the ridiculous fact that she'd given him his own name just for her, because she never got his name right and just expected him to catch up to the fact that she'd decided she would call him Oliver. She was rather unmovable on the fact, not that he minded._

 _In fact he should mind more. What was this bouncing ball of light doing to him?_

" _I'm not a very good teacher and I don't want to hurt you." He told her finally looking into her eyes sincerely. It's true, he had no desire to train her, and training when you first became a member was brutal. It was when someone attained most of the significant scars on their body. He'd already asked his sister, Talia to do the honours despite her other duties in the medicinal field. She would get along well with Felicity and had a strong affinity for knives, which he thought was the most obvious weapon's choice for Felicity._

 _She was small and fast with good hand eye coordination. He'd maybe even teach her how to shoot a bow one day._

" _We can still be friends though right? We'll still talk?" she clarified and he blinked having zoned out for a moment. He was struck first by her worried gaze and then by her words. She thought he wouldn't see her anymore?_

" _We're friends?" he asked stuck on the phrase dumbly._

" _Of course we are silly!" she said slapping his shoulder with a huge smile that he returned in kind but a lot smaller, barely visible. He glanced back at her hand still on him. She pulled away like she'd been burned once she realised what she'd done and where. She HAD only been inducted yesterday._

" _Sorry, that's not appropriate is it?" she muttered looking around as other assassins looked away._

 _He would have laughed if they'd been alone; she practically turned pink in embarrassment. It was adorable. Instead he grabbed the fingers that had dropped from his shoulder to squeeze them briefly. "You're fine." He told her with a soft small smile._

The knife narrowly missed his face as he turned to the left, imbedded in the doorframe. It had purposefully missed him but it was extremely close regardless, a little high and he would have had a haircut.

"Hmn that was close, I wonder if its guilt that's making you sloppy." Felicity was lounging against the window, only turning to see his surprise that was swiftly followed by anger as he pulled the knife from the wood harshly.

"Where did this come from?" he asked instead holding it up for inspection and she turned away with her arms crossed, hurt that it was the first thing out of his mouth since he'd left her here alone.

"I don't know a knife store?" Felicity drawled sarcastically knowing he's pissed when she hears the knife go harshly into the window pane two feet away from her. "That's going to ruin the pane," she muttered dryly.

"I took your weapons," he told her clipped coming up behind her.

"You know I did notice that on the plane. I'm touched you didn't have some stranger feel me up by the way, that makes me feel sooo much better." She drawled sarcastically and she heard his leather crunch together as he clenched his fists behind her.

"Fel-ic-it-y," he groaned.

"Did you have a good talk with daddy? Did he need an explanation for why there's guard's on your girlfriends door?" she spat and he frowned. He hated the term girlfriend, he found it trivial for what it was supposed to mean.

"Enough," he spun her around and she pushed him away once she was facing him and he frowned letting her. "I was _trying_ to clean up your mess. There will be no disciplinary action from the league regarding your behaviour."

"MY behaviour?" Felicity scoffed.

"YES. You're the one who left Felicity! You know what happens when you leave. It's called an OATH for a reason. Stop acting like this is my fault!" Oliver snapped at her and she had trouble remaining calm after that.

"BECAUSE IT IS." She exploded, "You knocked me out Oliver! I TRUSTED YOU! And you-you just took my choice away from me." She whispered in disbelief as she stared at his cold eyes. Could he really not see his wrongs?

"So did you! You were going to take **my** child away from me! You weren't even going to tell me until I figured it out." She winced internally at his hurt words. It sounded bad when he said it, _because it was._ No matter the circumstances she should have told him, they might not be here if things had gone different in Starling. _If they had just talked._

"I was trying to tell you. You weren't _listening_ ; I wanted us to talk but you. You did what you always do Oliver, you just took what you wanted not thinking about anyone else!" Felicity snapped thinking back to how he'd knocked her out in the warehouse, right in his arms, like a doll.

His doll.

"So your running away was you thinking about **me** was it?" he said bitterly pulling the knife she'd pocketed off the other guard at her door out of the pane. He ran his finger slowly over the hole it had left, like he was trying to smooth it out.

"No Oliver I was thinking about **our** child. There is no 'me,' not anymore. They're meant to come first, we never did, and I won't let that happen to them." Felicity whispered exhausted but resolutely as she turned back to their bed where her bag was waiting.

She seemed to have stumped him for a moment; she saw his genuine contemplativeness, she'd reached him for a moment. But then his eyes zeroed in on her bag.

"No." was all he said as he walked to their mostly trashed wardrobe, her temper flared as he took off his shirt ignoring her.

"I'm not sleeping with you," she hissed as he rummaged through his own clothes glaring at the fact nearly all of hers were empty. He sighed with a hint of mirth as he shucked himself out of his pants reaching for his sweats, "I didn't think you were offering."

"I mean here in this room, in a bed with you." Felicity grit out as she pointed around, finally to the large bed up against the wall, equal distance from the window to the door. Oliver had insisted on sleeping closest to the door since the first time they'd shared a bed. When someone came for him in the middle of the night for league business he'd instinctively roll over on top of her. Listening for the request through the door with his head tilted slightly, his palm lightly over her mouth. Only to be quickly replaced by his mouth shortly, a murmured apology on his lips transferred to hers before he left into the night. It was scary how fast he went from being the man who cuddled her in his sleep to becoming Al Sah-Him super assassin.

He'd scared the crap out of her the first time it had happened. It was when she discovered he kept weapons in the headboard…and everywhere. It was why it was impressive they were all gone right now. Felicity had made a game out of finding them when she'd first moved in here with him. Although she suspected she'd yet to even find them all still all these years later, she used to think it showed how much he trusted her…and about how paranoid he was about someone assassinating him in his sleep…But now they were gone, except from his person of course and the blade she'd stolen earlier.

"This is your room Felicity." He said sounding as drained as her as he ran a palm across his face.

"I'll sleep somewhere else." She said casually and his patience waned, he was tired and emotionally exhausted from their altercations and his conversation with his father they had yet to discuss. Fighting with her was tiring, they'd never made it a habit so they were both unsure footed about how to proceed. It showed as they stood awkwardly in each other's presence, arms folded, neither willing to move an inch.

"You haven't slept alone here in almost four years." He said gazing at the bed they shared. They'd been apart for missions sure and the last four months but not here on Nanda Parbat. Not since they became a…. _Them_. Oliver hadn't gotten a good night's sleep in all the months she was away. Not since the night she left, she kept the nightmares at bay.

He would wake up wondering if she was having her own, alone without him. Felicity's eyes flashed thinking exactly that, she spent most of her nights in Starling as the blonde vigilante and stalking her younger sister. Then she'd occupied them with helping Sara on her crusade only catching snatches of sleep when her body was pushed to the brink of exhaustion and if it wasn't she'd work out until it was. It had helped but it had still been lonely, she'd missed him.

She even missed waking in the middle of the night forgetting where she was. Only to find his arm pressed firmly around her middle, reassuring her as he pulled her closer, her breath evening out to match his own steady breathing. He'd murmur incoherently in Arabic in her ear a smile on his serene face as his beard tickled her face, nuzzling her neck. Then she'd fall back asleep contented and safe, not afraid of her next nightmare, not if he was holding her.

He never tried to make her talk when she awoke in the darkness, choking on water that wasn't really there. He would be there though, holding her face in his hands, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs as he coached her to breathe again. She would grasp his forearms in a frenzy to find his pulse, the gentle steady thrum drowning out the sound of the ocean, of gunshots and screaming.

She'd collapse against him shaking from a cold that wasn't there as he soothed her _. "I'll always be your air."_ He would murmur to her as he rocked her gently repeating himself in Arabic, knowing how hearing him speak it calmed her.

"I'm more afraid of what's in here."

 _Air could choke you like water._

"Ouch my feelings." Oliver said blandly even as he tensed she knew she'd gotten to him. "Unfortunately what you want right now doesn't matter. I told my father, he would have found out." He added when she went to protest. "I told him you panicked; it kind of took the edge off the whole treason thing." He drawled hoping she'd understand what was happening larger than her own anger. "He was pleased." He added in a mumble, he was happy Felicity hadn't been there to listen to his father talk about her like she was some kind of breeding mule. He wouldn't have been able to do damage control with her trying to scratch out his eyes. Oliver's not sure he would have stopped her either.

"What does this have to do with my sleeping arrangements?" she asked expectantly her stomach curling at his father's approval. There really would be no leaving or convincing on her part now to Oliver, not once everyone knew she was carrying his baby.

"I can't have you unprotected." He said simply, sternly.

"I can protect myself." She scoffed thinking of how she'd almost taken off his head a few minutes ago, she was more than capable. He knew that.

"Like you were going to protect our baby? Alone? Venerable and pregnant? Against our enemies?" he pursued, punctuating each question more firmly than the last.

"The league's enemies," she corrected bitterly and he shook his head a huff of laughter escaped him. She still didn't get it did she?

"You are part of the league Felicity. It was stupid for you to think danger wouldn't follow you... That is still half of my child," he pointed to her stomach which was almost eye level with him from where he'd sat on the edge of the bed. "I'm the heir to the demon, do you know how many people I've killed?" he looked up to her with cold eyes that she didn't flinch away from. "How long someone would wait to strike against my weakness? You are best protected **here** Felicity. I don't know what I'd do if I'd lost you."

"Well we know you're not above kidnapping," she quipped bitterly, not wanting to hear his reason. His pretty words of protection, _honour_. She wasn't going to let him make her out to be the bad guy. She may not have been completely right but he'd lost the right to question her actions when he refused to acknowledge his own. He could have said all that in the warehouse, but he didn't.

He ran.

Like she had; back to his safe space. Except he'd taken her with him.

Felicity reached beside him for her backpack and he pulled on the other side of it with a frown and it was suddenly across the room.

"Talia will check on your and the baby's health tomorrow morning. Father said there will be an announcement at dinner." Oliver said shortly before he opened the blankets to get into bed. His tone made clear their discussion was over.

Felicity felt a pang, she didn't get to tell Talia she was pregnant, "I won't get to tell anyone. They say that's one of the best parts." She whispered thinking of how she hadn't told Sara back in Starling, knowing she'd get herself killed protecting her and not Thea. _Thea would never know she was an aunt._ She also had few friends here who she would have liked to deliver the news to herself.

"You can tell whoever you wish tomorrow beforehand." Oliver said softly and she shook her head with a snort.

"What's the point? I mean everyone's going to hear all about how I'm growing the next royal assassin. I take it there won't be a baby shower then?" Felicity snapped walking over to where her bag had landed.

"Stop being dramatic." He sighed when he saw how unmovable she was. "Get in the damn bed Felicity. I'm too tired to argue about this with you any longer." Oliver commanded from the bed, his gaze daring her as she gripped the straps of her backpack tightly. She took the challenge turning swiftly from his piercing gaze to throw open the door.

She sighed internally, more guards, _of course_. She wondered what he'd said to place them there or if anyone questioned Oliver who wasn't her or Talia anymore. Well at least Ra's was always putting him down a peg, except she never enjoyed watching that. No she couldn't even think it, even now with her so angry at him.

She threw her bag across the room and blew out the light. Felicity settled onto one of the couches by the window, curling into a ball. She felt the day wash over her and settle into her bones. She thought it had felt final on the plane, but here in their room with Oliver's harsh breathing the only noise to combat the slight howl of the wind reality set in.

Reality and loneliness

She had never felt lonely in a room with him before.

Even when he wasn't talking to her, he'd flash her a secretive smile. A twitch of his lips only she would recognise as her eyes caught his blue ones. She'd learned to read his facial expressions, the twitches of annoyance, the crinkle of his eyes, an exhale of laughter. When he was doing his version of a smile. Felicity had only ever seen him really smile when they were alone.

Oliver had slowly ebbed away the darkness from the island, her loneliness from home. His smile was her own and she'd never felt alone, not if he was with her. Oliver was never quick to use words in important conversations. But he was always precise and meaningful, even if it took him longer. She would wait patiently until he could string his thoughts together, she waited in the warehouse and she found herself waiting now in the darkness.

She waited for him to say something, for him to give her something to hold onto. Something that made her want to. When he didn't speak her first tear fell soundlessly into her collar.

"I hate you," she muttered into the silence as another tear slipped down her cheek. The stutter in his breathing didn't make her feel better like she thought it would.

He still said nothing.

-0-

 _"Why do you have panic face?" Felicity asked suddenly her own insecurities rising at the way he'd just stared at her, dumbfounded._

 _"I don't have..." he began to disagree unsurely, dazed almost._

 _"You said it first." She reminded with a furrowed brow, her heart still pattering like a machine gun after what she'd just told him._

 _He swallowed but his hands still moved through her hair determined to not lose momentum, to lose the moment. To ruin this moment, he didn't want to do that, he never wanted to forget this moment. "I did. I just didn't, I didn't think..." He began unsure of how to broach the subject, talking about his feelings wasn't really his forte._

 _"You didn't think I loved you?" She asked in a disbelieving whisper as she looked up at him from his lap. She'd taken him on one of their many famous walks. All the way to the cliffs, she'd had fun watching his face turn from annoyance to having just climbed harsh terrain for no reason only to soft recognition. It was the hill they climbed when she'd asked him to name her._

 _She'd been so proud to have reached the top, spinning around in the wind as she took in the amazing view of the island. Even tropical flowers grew on the alcove near the edge, vibrant like her in the desolate desert, defying all reason._

 _"No," he began and she sank slightly but he didn't allow her to move away his hands braced her shoulders gently but firmly to keep her in his lap before he continued. "I knew. I know... I can see it in the way you touch me." He murmured grazing her face gently with the side of his calloused hand. "The way you say my name," her eyes glittered slightly as she realised he meant 'Oliver' not 'Al Sah-Him.' "When you're angry or afraid, when your happy...I know that I make you happy..." he told her carefully, his words disjointed slightly as they did when he wasn't completely secure in what he was saying. "That was enough for me." He said genuinely as he began to play with her hair again, contented as it sifted gently through his fingers looking curiously as the blonde changed slightly in the light, a glittering of colours._

 _"No one's ever told you that before have they?" Felicity whispered in realization and he turned away from her expression. She reached up her hand still gazing at him upside down. She turned his face back towards her gently, still holding on as he reluctantly made eye contact with her._

 _"I love you Oliver. I love Al Sah Him. I love all of you and I can keep saying it until you know I mean it." She reached for one of his hands and brought it gently to her lips to kiss, she kissed a faint white scar on his knuckle as she smiled up at him earnestly._

 _His heart clenched as he heard the words again, felt her lips on his skin. He closed his eyes briefly and was silent for a long time as she waited for him to collect his thoughts._

 _"Okay." he said finally his large hand encasing hers tenderly as he rubbed circles onto the top of her hand with his thumb. He still didn't speak for a moment as he looked out to the expansive sea before finding her eyes again. "I love you to." He said softly in a murmur his hand returning to her hair._

 _She smiled at his pure contentment, her chest clenched slightly as he said it for the second time. The hot sun fanned around his head almost like a halo as she looked up, he said he made her happy but what he didn't realise was that_ _ **he was her happiness.**_

 _She was fine if she just made him happy to. If it was anything like the feeling she held right now it was pretty spectacular all on its own._

 _"I know," she grinned._

-0-

"I know." He whispered thinking of that moment to anchor himself, it was his turn to remind her that he meant it. He pulled her into his arms easily; her sleeping form murmured but didn't awake as he transferred her to their bed. She would hurt her back if she slept on their decorative furniture and it wouldn't be good for the baby.

He placed her on her side with a pain in his chest. He swept some hair from her eyes and joined her on the other side, they'd never gone to sleep together this angry before. Oliver cautiously leant forward to gently place a kiss on her forehead, careful not to wake her. She was pretty out to it though, she'd looked exhausted.

"Goodnight Habibi," he murmured quietly an inch from her skin and before he could second guess himself he moved lower.

"Goodnight little love." His lips barely grazed her blanket covered stomach, settling another blanket over her cold body since she'd been sleeping by the open window. Felicity's lips twitched slightly when his body stilled completely beside hers and her chest tightened. The man she was in love with was still in there.

And despite their current standing she slept easier that night than she had in months.

 _ **.**_

 _ **.**_

 _ **AN: Habibi= my love.**_ _So this clearly isn't wrapping up as fast as I originally planned. I just realised I'm at where I was at the end of the last one and its only been like two days real time in the story haha I've decided to continue and make it a non-linear series of sorts since I like the universe._

 _I'm curious to know what you guys think should happen, how long before they make up etc? Anything you want to see for the future or their past, ideas are good. anyways review me;)_


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: thankyou for all the continued support, this was meant to be up a few days ago but ff wasn't letting me log .**

" _What are you doing?" A voice called almost making Felicity jump three feet in the air. Her nerves were already fried and she suddenly thought she was making a terrible ninja for not having heard him. Or maybe that just made him a great ninja… She'd been pacing in front of his room for forty minutes; thank god no one had seen her… she was a mess._

 _She'd tried to solve the problem on her own when she couldn't sleep, going over the moves Talia had shown her until her hands were rubbed red and raw, some blistered and bleeding. It hadn't helped, it was so loud and every time she closed her eyes she saw herself underwater screaming for Sara._

" _Jesus you scared the crap out of me! What are you doing sneaking up on me?" she cried indignantly defensive even though she'd come to him._

" _I was watching you pace in front of my room, how long have you been here?" he asked slightly amused as he leant against the opposite wall wearily. He'd been training all night with his father and it had been particularly brutal session. He needed to clean some of his cuts before collapsing into bed, probably a shower since he was soaked from the rain._

 _He saw her better now and straightened slightly on the wall at her appearance, she looked tired and more haunted than he'd ever seen her. He looked briefly down the hall before he made a decision. He grabbed her arm and opened his door at the same time, pushing them through quickly._

 _He shut the door and she stumbled slightly before crossing her arms around herself._

" _What's wrong?" he asked gruffly as he began to shed his heavier armour, wet with rain at the doorway._

" _I-" she was unsure now as she glanced fleetingly around his room. She'd never been in here before, it was much bigger than her own not that that was surprising or anything. A lot of red and wood, it was nice. What was she doing here? Oliver was just going to get uncomfortable and then tell her some weird Arabic metaphor she didn't understand that was the equivalent to 'suck it up' or 'rub some dirt in it.'_

 _But he was her closest friend here, the only person she could trust and he said he didn't mind her talking at him…_

" _Felicity?" he asked much softer now as he approached her slowly. Her eyes were wide and tired as she looked into his weary blue ones. "I'm just going to clean up, why don't you wait over there and then we'll talk about it." He gestured to the lounges by the window and she looked at them and then back to him._

 _She suddenly realised that he looked tired so she began to babble, "Are you sure? I mean I can-it can wait, I'm sorry to bug_ _you-" His hand landed solidly on her shoulder and it grounded her as she found his eyes again._

 _He crouched slightly to look her in her sunken eyes, "its fine, I just need a minute." And then he was shoving her in the direction of the lounges, the bathroom door slamming shut with him in it with finality._

 _She had noticed he was like that. He wasn't particularly demanding in their odd friendship but once he made a decision, much like everything else in his life, he just expected her to follow through with it. No matter how blunt the request._

 _Felicity paced in between the lounges and the bathroom, the lounges were by the window, the source of her agitation so she kept her distance. The wind howled bashing against his closed window and she winced trying to focus on her breathing and where she was._

 _It wasn't working._

 _Why couldn't she just breathe?_

 _She rubbed her callouses on her hand causing some of them bleed again. He was calling out her name; she hadn't heard him at first. Rough hands found her softer ones and she made out a soft curse he muttered in Arabic before she was being dragged to the bathroom._

" _Why didn't you tell me you were hurt?" he asked with irritated concern. She blinked up at him owlishly when his hand applied more pressure to get her attention. Felicity barely winced at the pain as she took in his freshly showered form. She's never seen him dressed so casually before; he was in a cotton shirt and pants. It must be what he wore to bed; they were black like everything here, but soft looking. It contrasted oddly with his harsh personality but it suited him none the less, but then again he'd probably rock a heshen sack._

" _I-" she looked at his half bandaged arm, "Your arm!" she said her hand immediately reaching out but he stopped her._

" _You first," he argued, "I'm fine."_

 _He turned her hands over in his, inspecting them closely and more gently. "How hard is Talia working you?" he demanded frowning, he didn't know his sister to let something like this happen without offering some kind of medical advice. If not properly cared for it would only hinder her training in the long run. Talia was training to be the priestess for god sake. Felicity shook her head. She could think more clearly now, the rain a dull noise from inside the smaller slightly steamed room._

" _I was practising," she mumbled wincing slightly when he put a sticky substance over the open wounds._

 _He hummed to show he'd heard her and before she knew it he was wrapping thin gauze around her hands with practised ease. "You do this a lot huh?" she asked quietly and he made another noise of acknowledgment as he concentrated on her hands._

 _He let go of them when he was finished, "no weapons tomorrow," he told her firmly dropping her hands gently to her side and she nodded glancing at his bleeding gash he'd no doubt agitated after helping her._

" _Here," she reached up and he froze when she took off the loose hanging cloth. She glanced briefly at him to check if this was okay. She continued when he nodded slightly, a bare shift of his chin, his eyes were hard._

 _She copied him applying the weird herby stuff that looked kind of familiar. She picked up the container and gave it an experimental sniff. He quirked an eyebrow at her that she ignored her mind reeling as she tried to place it. She put some of the sludge over his open gash and he didn't even wince._

" _This is from Lian Yu isn't it?" she asked suddenly realising it was the stuff Shadow had used on Slade. Sara had also mentioned it in some capacity while they were there._

 _Oliver tilted his head curiously at her as she tied off his bandage securely nodding that she was satisfied. He looked pleased enough as he tilted his arm in a few different directions examining it. "It's why I was there that day." He told her quietly as he cleaned up the supplies from his counter not looking at her._

" _When you found me?" she asked softly and he nodded silently and they were encompassed in a comfortable but weighted silence._

" _Come on," he said once he was done, directing her back into his room by her elbow. He went to direct them to the two lounges but she shook her head and dug her heels in._

 _He sighed mostly confused at this point, "can we sit on the bed?" he asked instead when she thought he was going to make her leave and she nodded with slight hesitation. He left some space between them as they sat having gauged her somewhat fragile state._

 _He turned towards her waiting for her to speak. "I'm only good at listening if you talk," he told her after a few minutes past in silence. She forced a small smile wringing her bandaged hands together._

" _It's stupid,"_

 _The thunder sounded again and she couldn't help but wince, it reminded her so much of right before it happened. So many awful things had happened when it rained like this…_

" _You don't like rain do you?" he murmured quietly looking out the window as he realised why she hadn't wanted to sit there._

" _No not so much," she muttered looking away from him as his eyes snapped back to her curiously. "I thought this place was like the desert or something..."_

 _His mouth quirked as he explained briefly, "it's a desert storm… Why come to me?" he asked his thought finally. One thing he had learnt about her in their short time of knowing one another was that Felicity didn't like people to see her weaknesses. They were similar that way, they both had walls. They just looked different._

" _I just-" she furrowed her brow her hands still twisting together, "we're friends right?" she said not wanting to have to say what she really wanted to._

 _He tilted his head again nodding, yes. They'd been over that, as surprising as it was to him that she'd want to be his friend he had accepted it as she continued to seek him out. He liked her company, she never made him speak and wasn't afraid to speak her own mind. Forgetting he could kill her in the time it took to blink, she trusted that he wouldn't. He liked that, how easy she made it all seem even in the lives they were leading._

 _She never looked pained or worried; she was always smiling, smiling too much for a place like this, except not now. He frowned, finding that he didn't like that. He was also annoyed he hadn't realised any of this sooner, of course she was hurting. How did she even end up on that island? Who had hurt her? He'd seen some of the scars… but it wasn't his business, not endless she made it his. He would offer her that same curtsey she showed him._

 _Felicity sighed, "I just didn't want to be alone right now." She said so quietly he almost didn't catch it._

 _So she'd sought_ _ **him**_ _out? He had trouble processing that but pushed it aside as he watched her hands practically wrecking his hard work as they rubbed together over the bandages. He grabbed them, stilling them as he chided her quietly. Her hands fell lax into his grip but didn't pull away._

" _Did you want to talk about it?" he offered not really knowing what to say when trying to give comfort. She shook her head, "can we just sit here?" she asked after another moment of silence and he nodded, leaning back on the post with his eyes closed in exhaustion._

 _He'd fallen asleep like that, with his hand in hers. Her body had ended up draped over his legs from where she'd fallen forward in her own sleep._

 _Oliver had never just slept with another person before._

 _He should have realised it then._

When he awoke the next morning he was alone. "Felicity?" he called with no response as he looked bleary eyed around the room. Slightly panicked he shot to his feet, how had she gotten up without him even noticing?

He rubbed his face trying to rid it of sleep as he got up from his cold bed and deftly dressed; he was more tired than he thought.

She was with Talia.

 _Where else was she going to go Oliver? Leave the island?_ _ **Again,**_ _it would be much harder now anyway._

They were laughing together in Talia's working rooms, joking around as Talia put on some kind of cuff to her arm. They were silent as she pumped the ball attached to the cuff.

"You can come in Saheem, you lurking is kind of creepy." Felicity called to him and he shook his head before he made his way through the door and walked up to where she was sitting. He fought the impulse to drop a kiss to her head in greeting, they'd long since hid their affections in front of his sister but he knew it wouldn't have been received well right now.

He didn't want to chance touching her so he focused on his sister, "What are you doing?" he queried and she rolled her eyes.

"Good morning Talia how are you today?" she muttered sarcastically as she wrote something down and he heard Felicity snort quietly. "The doctor you saw was right, it is low. You need to be drinking more water, maybe some sugar to." She told Felicity with a sterner eye.

"Yeah he said that's why I fainted," she said nodding.

"You fainted? When?" Oliver demanded and Felicity huffed in annoyance. "Right before you sent Sarab for me." She said thinking back to that day, she'd been afraid for the baby in that fight; it was when she knew she'd do anything to keep them safe.

"You got in a fight AFTER you knew you were pregnant!?" she silently cursed herself before levelling him with a glare of her own. He was the one who'd _sent_ Sarab! **He** knocked her out when he found out she was pregnant and now he's suddenly dad of the year?

"Can we please not do this right now?" she grit out instead trying to calm herself, she wasn't doing this in front of his sister.

"I'm still examining her." Talia said in support and he let out a huff of exasperation.

"Carry on," his tone was superior, like he was talking to one of his lackeys. He waved his arm lazily not moving from where he'd perched himself on the table.

"Fantastic, you're staying." Felicity muttered crossing her arms, all the fun had just sucked out of the room.

-0-

" _Why are you going to be the priestess if you're so good at this?" Felicity asked after her breathing returned to normal. They'd been at it for hours now and sweat poured from her skin, making the knives slick in her palms. She'd almost sliced off a finger; she'd die if she'd been renegaded back to the dull knives._

 _Oliver would have a field day simultaneously laughing at her and worrying about her almost chopping off her fingers._

 _Talia had been training her for months now but still paused at Felicity's question. For a moment she wondered if it was too personal. She felt like they were getting closer, but people here, especially people who were raised here like Talia…like Oliver, they were even more closed off._

" _Al Sah-Him," Felicity blinked remembering Oliver's real name. When she didn't say anymore Felicity chanced pushing her._

" _What about him? Is this some bogus gender thing?" Felicity asked with a tilted head as Talia bent down to retrieve their water from the ledge._

 _Felicity had noticed that whilst woman could be trained here like warrior's, treated equally like men… there were still women here who weren't, archaically so. The women who prepared the food and who cleaned the grounds; time seemed to move backwards as the men were ultimately not responsible for anything of domestic nature._

 _Talia shook her head as she regarded Felicity carefully. It reminded her of Oliver, she knew they only shared a father and did not look similarly in ways of looks. Oliver had never spoken of his mother but Felicity had gathered she was of western origin whilst Talia was much darker._

" _You are friends with my brother yes?" she asked Felicity seriously and she nodded slowly as Talia continued, moving slowly to sit on the ledge. "You have seen his softer side, not many can say the same. He wasn't always so hardened, he still isn't in some ways." She mused and Felicity joined to sit beside her so she didn't loom._

 _She didn't want to spook her from talking._

" _Since there were two heirs for my father, he told us when we came of age that we would fight for our place as successor." Talia said quietly studying her bottle carefully. Felicity swallowed, she didn't make it sound like they were both meant to live at the end of that._

" _He's older and stronger than I. I never resigned my faith though; if he was going to cut me down I was going to give him a reminder to carry with him. It burdened our relationship for many years…"Talia trailed off and Felicity suddenly had the desire to snort._

 _Yes knowing one day you'd have to kill the other would probably do that._

" _He told father I would be wasted in death. I remember being terrified that he meant I should be given away like some kind of boxed gift for our allies." Talia smiled softly but Felicity's stomach rolled._

" _I would have rather he killed me... But he'd been planning, for quite some time for me to overtake the role as priestess. I had always been interested and it is one of the most highly respected rolls within the league. I wouldn't just survive; I would be protected, unchallenged._

 _He saved my life when I thought he was going to kill me without remorse."_

" _Wasn't there already a priestess?" Felicity asked confused._

" _She fell ill months prior and never returned to heath. Priestess' are forbidden to take part in rituals, only perform them." She continued knowing Felicity would ask about the mysterious pools her father bathed in that restored life. Not that she would wish that on anyone._

" _You think he...?" Felicity trailed off. 'He murdered the priestess' went unsaid; Felicity had no doubt in her mind about that._

 _Talia gave her a wiry smile. "Don't be ridiculous Litl'Sen that would be treason. Come, enough stalling it is time you showed me how you're coming along with the shuriken."_

 _The conversation was over but Felicity felt like she learnt more about both the hardened Al Gaul siblings._

-0-

"You're not dressed."

Felicity didn't look up when she heard his gruff voice. After parting this morning on a sour note she'd gone back to ignoring him. He'd been busy with league business anyway but it was nightfall now, he must have been talking about dinner.

Or more importantly the announcement at dinner.

"I wasn't planning on leaving my cage tonight Al-Sah Him." Felicity said dryly from the window where she had been sitting for hours. She traced her slightly chipped nail polish that Sara had done for her only days ago.

Things had been so different then.

Her life could have been different.

"Enough." She heard his weapons clanging as he smashed around behind her, presumably changing himself. "Your presence is required if we're going to announce _your_ pregnancy."

She scoffed quietly, he sounded even more riled up than last night. He'd been hoping she would have forgiven him by now; typical impatient Oliver who was apparently incapable of an apology or a shred of remorse. She snapped turning coldly towards him. He was by their wardrobe; he'd put all her clothes back in there, folded neatly beside his.

 _Like it never happened._

"You know, you talk about how much you hate him but you sure are acting like him. He'd be proud." Felicity's words cut right through him and she swallowed it like shattered glass. His eyes flashed with hurt and anger as he stalked towards her and she realised she was angry to.

She wasn't sure she would ever stop being angry either.

Felicity had barely blinked before he'd hauled her to her feet by her arm and she seethed, squirming in his grip.

"You want me to be the bad guy? Fine blame me, and I'll blame you. Now get dressed." He spoke firmly his mouth ghosting her piercing in a way that was anything but intimate despite the proximity.

"You'll blame me?" she asked incredulously snapping her arm from his grip. He let her but he didn't lessen their proximity.

He was prepared for them to rehash their argument last night. He was prepared for yelling, screaming maybe even some crying but she merely sunk down to the window bench practically sliding on his body since he refused to give her space.

She looked defeated.

"I can't… If you can't even _apologise_ , I can't do this Oliver." She whispered and he froze, his legs brushing her knees from where he stood. He gazed hardly out the window above her head.

"You ran," he finally said when he couldn't take the silence. She did this to him; he could go for hours without speech before he met her. Go without thought, without her. Her leaving had hurt him in ways he wasn't ready to acknowledge yet.

She let out a pained laugh. _"I didn't leave you."_ She stressed desperately in a broken whisper that made him strain to close his eyes.

It was her crying voice.

"I left for her…I. You haven't apologised." She looked up to him and he braved looking down into her watery eyes. Unashamed as the tears fell, always open to him. Her pain was raw on her face but he forced himself to accept it, he deserved this, her tears.

"You kidnapped my sister Oliver." She broke away smothering her face with her hands as her body shook. He didn't know what to be more startled at. What she'd been so angry about or that she'd called him Oliver for the first time in two days.

"I..." he began before he cut himself short. He had nothing to say and her painful sob tore through his chest as she shook bellow him.

"You knew." She said once she'd composed herself angrily, tears still trailing down her face. "I told you about her," she stood suddenly and he stumbled back in shock of her anger right before she shoved him herself.

"I told you. About how important she was to me. She is my _family_ , my baby sister! How dare you threaten her life! When you sat with me on the day of her birthday every year, when I _wished_ I could see the woman she became. _You knew Oliver_. So don't you dare fucking stand there like you're on higher ground than me… Because kidnapping her was _efficient,_ just like how taking _me_ was. Like I was just another target… knocking me out like I didn't mean _anything_." She shoved him again her voice hoarse through the pain of her tears as he only watched her with a stunned coldness.

"Congratulations Al Sah Him you really are the _heir to the demon_." She spat and his eyes flickered with anger. He caught her arm as she shouldered past him, bringing her hand to their attention.

"Get rid of this," his eyes were flickering to her nail polish. "We're leaving in fifteen minutes." His voice was hard and her finger's fell slack in his grip.

"No," Felicity said sharply. She wasn't sure how much more she could push him but she wouldn't get rid of it, not tonight. His hand curled tighter around her own, "I will get dressed. I will sit beside you and I will accept your father's congratulations… Let go of my hand." Felicity said calmly turning to eye his now simmering glare.

He released her hand easily, "You mean _everything_ Felicity, that's the problem." He breathed into her face before he swiftly walked toward the bathroom and slammed the door. When she looked back to their mixed clothes in the wardrobe she felt like sobbing all over again.

Oliver breathed harshly as he stripped out of his training clothes and turned the water on full blast in the shower. He could feel it now, in every touch. Every strained smile, it dimmed her light. She was breaking from the inside out and he was the one responsible. He promised he would always protect her but he hadn't promised that he wouldn't hurt her himself.

Maybe she was right, maybe he was his father. Maybe she was too late or maybe he'd been to broken to begin with. She'd never said that to him before, never crossed that line. She was always reassuring him, always beside him in every sense of the word, his partner. But then he'd crossed his own lines. Taken her sister and then her trust, poisoned her mother.

Wronged her in ways he didn't know how to begin to make up for.

He couldn't stop picturing her face when she woke up on the plane.

It was like her whole world split in half at his betrayal.

It was how he felt when he woke up that morning to cold sheets, with her missing. _For four long months._

 _-0-_

Oliver gripped her hand on top of the table again that night; it was slack in his grip. She didn't even look at him as his eyes bore into the pale blue that still resided on her finger nails. What she'd fought him to keep.

A harsh moment of clarity reached him.

She was different now, this would have to be different now to, and he would have to accept what had transpired between them these last few months to keep her.

"I assume you'll be getting married." He heard his father say pulling him out of his sombre musings and Felicity's hand tightened in his own for the first time that night.

She wiped her mouth delicately with her free hand before smiling prettily at his father, "I don't see why. You never married any of your children's mothers."

Ra's laughed good-naturedly but Oliver squeezed her hand in warning, he didn't like wherever this was going. Felicity was rash when she was angry, like he was but with words instead of fists. If she didn't stop herself from walking away she'd say something she couldn't take back.

"But my son is a traditionalist, and you two are so in love aren't you? It seems like the logical thing." He smiled with all of his teeth making it clear that their show tonight wasn't fooling him. Oliver doubted it would, and there was all the speculation around Felicity's time away and the guards by the door the other day which he knows Ra's knows about.

"Al Sah-Him wants to marry after he's become the demon's head." Felicity said before he could speak with what she'd once explained to him as her "billionaire press smile," whatever that meant, it looked like she was going to kill someone and would actually like it.

"Does he now?" Ra's said somewhat amused putting down his utensils.

God was Felicity trying to get them in hot water?

"Well congratulations once more 'Litl Sen, I can see now that when Saheem named you 'Sen' he meant fire. I hope you learn to control that fire by the time you are wed Saheem. You'll come to see when you are Ra's that wives have their own place in the league, one you seem to already be on your way to fulfilling." Ra's said to Felicity who was mangling Oliver's hand by now in her grip. Ra's turned his attention to Oliver; who engaged him in a silent conversation that seemed to be happening just with eye contact.

Oliver broke first knowing Felicity might snap at any moment… Or snap his fingers. "I think we're going to retire for the night father, this has been a pleasant evening, thank you for the welcoming celebration."

"Very well, you must be tired; I hear pregnancy is taxing on one's body. We wouldn't want you to have any… complications." Ra's said dismissively even with his callous words of Felicity's well-being; he barely bristled at Oliver's own dismissal.

"No we wouldn't." Oliver replied icily.

He stood abruptly propriety barely contained before he nodded curtly at his father. He held his hand out for Felicity who knew by his expression there would be hell if she didn't take it, that comment had pushed him into protective mode. Not that she minded in this particular instance, Ra's already gave her the heebe jeebees and she didn't like he's veiled threats on a regular 'non pregnant day' when he was just trying to get rid of the girl sleeping with his son.

Oliver was right about this; they needed to be a united front against the league even if they weren't amongst themselves right now.

She took his hand quietly, her head ducked in a show of deference to Oliver for the first time that night. Oliver gripped her hand tightly as she hauled herself to her feet before he did it himself, bowing quickly to Ra's as Oliver all but dragged her down the hall past dozen of curious eyes still present.

'Things are going to have to change if we're to survive this,' she thought as she placed a protective hand across her midsection and allowed Oliver to drag her silently through the halls.

 **AN: Urghhgh angst angst angst, I feel like season 3. I don't know what it is about this story but after the first chapter I have no trouble writing them all fluffy and fun in the past but the angsty present is hard to write. I think because it's such a big road block for them and Oliver's a stubborn idiot. But I think they'll unite as a front for Ra's. He's a threat to the baby so I think she'll prioritise more anger there.**

 **Next chapter **Sara's in trouble**Oliver finds Felicity's bat phone**Marriage talk again. Oliver is unromantic and emotionally stunted.**Also Oliver really doesn't like Sara, but we knew that. Possessive jealousies ensue.**

 *****I hope reviewer who asked for the first flashback of them falling asleep together for the first time liked it***** **Please review**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN/ Thank you for all the continued love and support for this story. Note that time has passed in this chapter if you get confused.**

 _It feels like they've been building to this moment for months and months, maybe even since they've met. It was by no means surprising but Felicity still felt terribly off guard when he went to kiss her for the first time. She'd had moments to change the atmosphere but she didn't feel the fear until he was breathing on her face. The scar on her neck tingled and she turned away from him, curling in on herself. When Felicity looked up all she could see was Oliver's hurt and confusion, he was being open, he'd been vulnerable and she'd rejected him._

 _Without even thinking she started speaking, he was pulling away, his walls were reappearing but she clutched his forearm tightly her own eyes wide._

 _"The last person who kissed me almost killed me," she said in a rush of words trying to somehow explain her unmentioned reaction. She pulled down the side of her shirt when his eyes twitched in emotion; they darkened as he spotted the familiar scar that peaked out of her clothes. It taunted him with the story he did not know. Like the scars she had yet to see and map with her own eyes on his body, he thought he knew every scar on her body._

 _He hoped he would someday. Felicity was,_ _ **is**_ _colour to Oliver._

 _It was the only way he could describe it._

 _It was the only way to describe how twisted he felt when she was with him, when they touched, when she laughed. He felt like he was going to explode in the best possible way, like a firework, except he wasn't terrified like he was of those loud explosions._

 _She made him feel brave and strong…important._

 _Her Oliver._

 _He was someone beside a solider when he was with her, not his father's son, and a warrior. Not when she still tried to scare him even when he'd heard her creeping halfway down a hall. He let her jump onto his back anyway, she knew he could kill her but she laughed. Sometimes she'd cover his eyes and ask; 'guess who?' and sometimes she made it her mission to take him down with her in her jump._

 _She never did._

 _He still smiled._

 _He couldn't stop smiling though._

 _He didn't want to, but he wanted, no_ _ **needed**_ _more. He couldn't watch anymore, not when he could have her. If he just had her…maybe the pressure would subside in his chest, maybe he could be…happy. Even in his life._

 _He wanted that, he wanted this, more than anything._

 _When she pulled away he felt something shatter in him he wasn't sure was still lingering around in his weary body. Hope maybe. But she wanted him, she wouldn't have reached for him, told him about her scar if she didn't but she wasn't ready._

 _They hadn't talked about relationships._

 _But this didn't seem like what she meant._

 _She was talking about an even more taboo subject; she was talking about the island. It was the only timeline that made sense with the scaring. It filled him with anger, but she was as fragile as the day he found her as she stared at him, like he'd been only moments ago with her. He took a deep breath instead as he chose his words with precision, not wanting to stuff them up._

 _He didn't speak at first, his silence said more though. Oliver leant forward to delicately trace the scar on her left side where her shoulder met her neck instead. Her breath hitched and she shuddered slightly her eyes shut tight. He waited for her to look at him and he rubbed the healing flesh lightly with his thumb as his blue eyes pierced her own._

 _"I shall wait to garner your trust then," he murmured not asking for any more._

 _It was a promise though._

 _Inevitability_

 _That he would wait. She grinned at him slowly and he felt her colour wash over him again, like a calming wave and he bent further forward to rest his forehead against hers, he breathed deeply. He needed to touch her even if he couldn't have her yet._

 _It was enough._

 _And when he kissed her for the first time that scar was the first place he kissed._

-0-

"The bloody thing won't stop beeping," he muttered pushing random buttons on one of Felicity's techy phone things she'd made. It had been on her back in Starling when he'd knocked her out in the warehouse. She knew he had it but had yet to ask for it back, it was now driving him crazy and of course all the messages were in some kind of code. Damn Felicity.

He wanted to give it back, an olive branch of sorts. He was trying, trying to understand her pain and why she was so angry with him. Trying to be better, for her to look at him again like she used to but he was naturally suspicious and paranoid. It was a work hazard, so he was reluctant to give Felicity back her phone. But cutting off all her communication options seemed kind of controlling, even for him…He'd already taken her back to Nanda Parbat.

But in the end it was the noise that did him in.

She caught it easily when he threw it at her and smirked, "I was wondering when you'd cave, I've been hearing it for days." He glared at her realising he'd been played but was happy she was talking to him.

He sighed sitting on the side of the bed a foot away from her; he hoped she wouldn't move to spite him. He needn't worry though as her eyes scanned the electronic brick quickly typing furiously, then her lip went into her teeth.

That was never good, he frowned and waited for her to speak, but she didn't. It was odd when she'd normally tell him everything, asking his opinion. They just sat there in tense silence, both lost to their own thoughts. Felicity rubbed her belly absently in thought, it had begun rounding over the last two month's to his joy not that she ever let him get close enough to it. Well apart from the other night.

 _He'd been frowning at her from beside the bed as she sat up absently touching and watching her bump with unbreakable concentration. She'd given up trying to sleep in another room after the dinner with his father, she'd been wary of someone hurting her. Oliver wasn't sure it was warranted but was happy all the same. He'd never let anyone touch her or their baby and that was why she was still here, even though she was mad she still trusted him to keep them safe._

 _But she still wouldn't let him touch her; still barely talked to him. It was a civil but painful process as he tried to win back her affections. It wasn't going all that well honestly; he longed to be able to touch her stomach. To feel how it felt, was it firmer? Did she feel movement? She sometimes looked uncomfortable._

" _Come here," she suddenly called out and he felt his feet move automatically but wearily. He sat on the bed and she motioned him closer grabbing his hand, he was silent not wanting to stop what she was doing._

" _Here," she muttered, "It's yours to." She said in lieu of an answer for her actions. He grinned uncharacteristically wide as he moved his hand slightly. She let go of it, leaving him to his perusal, slightly uncomfortable by the scenario. But Oliver could see her soften a bit by his marvelling face as he lied beside her stomach stroking it in patterns. When she didn't tell him to move he began to talk quietly to her stomach, whispering mostly in Arabic, he didn't remember falling asleep._

She'd been actively avoiding him until now after that night. He had no idea what to make of it which only made him more frustrated and confused by his non progress.

"What is it?" he asked surprisingly softly without demand.

"Its Sarah," she replied shortly he stiffened.

"She needs me." She continued either ignoring his reaction or not seeing it.

"You're pregnant." He said immediately.

"I have noticed that Oliver." She was caught between irritation and amusement by his typical blunt statement.

"Good, so you see running into her trouble isn't feasible." Oliver told her nodding to himself like they just had a much larger conversation with more words and affirmations than they did.

"She's my best friend" Felicity told him watching him revert back to himself.

"You have friends here." He told her suddenly making eye contact that she held firmly from her spot on the bed, his eyes burned hot and angry… God she missed sex, this baby was making her crazy. The fact that Oliver came in every other night sweaty and allergic to shirts didn't help her either.

Her anger burned hotter though, it always did now, especially after the island, she could always see the bigger picture. She _made_ herself, emotions got you killed. Except Oliver was…. _Oliver,_ he'd always been an anomaly. Her anomaly, he'd saved her to, made _her_ feel human.

"It doesn't work that way Oliver." She said with a tired sigh, he was closer now passing beside her bed side.

"Not with her, I know" He looked away, his jaw locked and she knew he was thinking of that fight a year or two ago. The last time they fought over Sara.

"I don't hate _your_ friends." Felicity said kindly not pointing out that all of his friends were assassins or his sister.

"I don't hate her that would require investment." Oliver told her with icy words and she held back rolling her eyes at his obviously forced apathy.

She huffed, "you've never liked her, even before you met her." she pointed out and Oliver nodded reluctantly because…well that was very true.

-0-

He gets there on a Tuesday, already fraught with anxiety. He hadn't left Felicity since he'd found her again, he wasn't worried per say… but he was, he was always worried about her and he'd done …things to be able to come back to Starling.

Promised things Felicity hadn't been ready for. Not now at least. All he could see was the disappointment and resignation in her eyes followed by acceptance. She told him he'd manipulated her again, Oliver preferred to look at it as seizing an opportunity. Felicity wouldn't put the baby in danger by going herself so she was left with little options but to agree.

She'd grudgingly told him not to die when he'd left. He was annoyed when she'd told him then that under no circumstances was he to kill any of her friends or family though.

" _Or their friends, or their f…in fact don't kill anyone Sara's working on a new policy there, no…arrowing. Or any of the other 100 ways you know how to kill someone." She told him with an aggressive chest poke._

" _Well someone's dying…and It's more like 200." He'd grinned watching her fight her lips as he left. It wasn't quite the goodbye kiss he'd wanted but it was enough._

"I called Felicity not _you_ ," she growled as Oliver fell to his feet with a scowl his hood up, he'd taken eight reinforcements and none of them were Felicity.

"I'm sorry but who are the men in black?" Someone cleared their throat anxiously. "Sorry… and woman-EN?" A scrawny kid amended nervously. He was their tech; Oliver tilted his head stepping forward to announce himself to the rest of her team.

"I am Al Sah Him heir to the demon," he declared firmly and the scrawny kid straightened with hardened eyes.

"Barry Allen, MIT, class of 2010." His lips twitched, he reminded Oliver very much of Felicity.

"My Felicity went to MIT," he told Barry who blinked in recognition of his connection to them and then frowned, less friendly like.

"Oh you're _that_ guy." He muttered bitterly.

Oliver blinked and turned back to Sarah who was still fuming as a large man, introduced as Diggle tried to calm her. All assassins flinched when they heard two pairs of feet thundering down the stairs. Oliver recognised the girl after a moment as the crying girl from the warehouse, he internally sighed, _great; this was going well_.

"YOU!" she shouted.

He had to act a certain way in front of his men but didn't want to have an aggressive encounter with Felicity's sister again. He told his soldier's firmly in Arabic to wait at their safe-house for further instructions. They left immediately scattering out and disappearing before them.

The tiny girl barrelled right to him barely being caught by the young man with her around the middle before she reached his still form. "He's the one who took her! Why are you all just standing there?" she shouted trying to get out of the boys grip.

Oliver stood stoically ignoring be he turned to Sara "Felicity received your message," she frowned.

"Then why isn't _she_ here?" she snapped and he clenched his teeth, these people were _impossible._

"She isn't able to leave the compound as of present." He said unyielding and Sara and Thea scoffed in unison. " **I am here** because she asked this of me, not out of obligation." He told her flatly trying to count down in his head like Felicity once taught him to after he'd vetoed her stress ball idea.

"I don't like you either Al Sa- what was it again?"

Oliver ignored Sara's taunt reaching inside his jacket pocket. Diggle and Sara moved for their weapons and he moved slower catching their eyes as he pulled out two letters.

"These are for you," he held an envelope out for Sara who snatched it before turning to Thea expecting the same reaction. "And you," she took the envelope gingerly though and quietly moved away.

Sarah read hers fiercely quick, she smiled at some points and then openly gaped at him once she reached the end. "You son of a bitch!" she lunged and Diggle held her back, Oliver didn't move a muscle having expected her reaction to what would have been Felicity's pregnancy.

"What? What's wrong?" Barry asked warily getting to his feet and moving towards Sara.

"She's _pregnant!_ That's why she's not here!" she spat. Both men froze and Diggle released her. She stopped and thought for a moment putting the pieces together, "That's why she was going to stay with us! She always said she'd go back with you, no matter whatI said. That she didn't belong here then suddenly she wanted to stay. She liked it here, she was _**good**_ _here."_ It was unclear if Sara was just talking to herself now.

"Felicity is always good, no matter where she is." Oliver told her calmly.

"What in your team of _assassins_?" Sara asked snarkily sarcastic as she ignored the warning look her partner was giving her. The one who Oliver had deduced upon arrival had substantial military training.

"I don't care if she's an assassin," Thea said suddenly approaching him again with wide eyes. She hadn't opened her letter, "I'll still love her, I do still, I will, _please give her back_." He remained stoic as he appraised her silently. Oliver knew her pain, he loved Felicity and he couldn't imagine losing her. But he had Felicity now; he wasn't going to let her make him feel bad about it. She'd already caused enough problems between him and Felicity.

"Felicity is where she belongs. With family, I'm only here to-" Oliver began hoping to get back on course and see where they were at with their mission.

"She's MY family!" she shouted hysterically after he'd said the word and his eyes narrowed harshly in response.

"No she's _mine_ and she's been mine for six years now. We would be fine if she didn't come back for **you** , you're nothing but a distraction. Someone she cries about sporadically, in a _memory_ , when she sees yellow flowers or hears that song about the mountains, like your dead." Oliver spoke looking directly into her eyes, his eyes and voice piercing right through her, his words cutting; he saw it all there in her eyes. She was like an open book, like Felicity. He shook his head slightly to put the same wide eyes out of his mind; they were different in colour but not intent.

"I was dead." The blonde archer supplied dryly and he was thankful to direct his malice somewhere that wouldn't get him in trouble... Well less trouble.

"You should have stayed that way." He told her easily. Okay he wasn't trying all that hard but it wasn't like Felicity was here.

"Why are you here? I understand she wouldn't come to jeopardise her baby but why would you agree to…? If you hate us so much?" The blonde pressed opening and closing her fist, it was vaguely reminiscent of the action he used to mimic his bow.

"Felicity loves you," he told her without emotion, as if that explained everything. He looked from her to Thea who'd moved away to be consoled by the teenage boy in the red hooded jumper.

"I also relish in the opportunity to kill the man that hurt her." he told Sara with a steely gaze.

She looked surprised at that, "she told you about Slade?" it was almost a whisper and Oliver regarded the girls physical change upon hearing the information. It had somewhat validated his connection with Felicity to her as her eyes moved further away, lost how Felicity's sometimes went.

"Yes." Was all he allowed firmly and Sara eyed him suspiciously at his non elaboration.

"Where are you with this..Mirucle?" He asked rerouting the conversation.

"Mirukuru," Barry supplied and Oliver nodded in affirmation ignoring the strange look Sara was giving him as Barry started to prattle on their position.

"Will I need this cure to be able to kill him?" he asked Barry candidly his face pensive as he took in the information. The boy's face twisted looking to Sara, "we're not-"

"We're **not** killing Slade," Sara told him firmly and he repressed an eye roll, another Felicity habit especially as of late where she mainly hummed at his questions and when she demanded he make her a sandwich last week at two in the morning.

"That's the only reason I'm here." He told her point blank.

"Fe-"

"I just need his head; you can keep the rest of him." Oliver supplied in what he thought was a negotiation.

"Dear lord," Diggle muttered with a sigh followed by a; "I don't even want to know."

"We don't kill people here," Sara told him firmly.

"Do you require my assistance or not?" He said sharply as she sneered ready to tell him to go to hell when Diggle clasped her shoulder and gave her a beseeching look.

"We're NOT doing that Digg he's clearly _insane_. **My** best friend who insisted we let the spiders go when we caught them in the garden is shacked up with a murdering psychopath and is having his baby!" Sara whispered harshly.

"We're engaged now actually, it's why I need the head." Oliver explained but they still just stared at him. Sara had called Felicity for backup; she needed trained muscle not her crazy not boyfriend.

"Also I'm not a psychopath. I just kill people for a living." He corrected as an afterthought.

"Why don't we just put that on the backburner for now?" Barry suggested with twisted lips and a waned smile to which Sara scowled at.

"Decapitation is NOT something we negotiate Barry."

-0-

" _You want to what?" Felicity stuttered confused, "repeat that sentence."_

" _You want to help your friends and I can't go to Starling without consent again, especially now." Oliver explained as he paced in front of the couch she was currently lying on, she kept moving though uncomfortably. Her stomach was really starting to be there to Oliver's delight and her fear. She couldn't stop worrying about Ra's and his looks. She worried she wouldn't be able to defend herself, she also worried she couldn't if Oliver left._

 _But she needed to save her friends to. If Slade was back he'd be out for blood, Sara's, probably hers if he knew where she was, maybe even her families to…_

 _She sighed tiredly, "yes I got that, I'd like for you to explain_ _ **Oliver**_ _, why it is you need to cut off the man's head? He's not a vampire." She added and Oliver blinked without understanding like he always did with pop culture before he moved on._

 _He faced her blankly, "besides what he did to you?" she flinched at that, barely but he still saw it. He tried to still himself and be more tactful before he spoke again, and then he sighed stalling._

" _Because I have an idea." He looked at her seriously and she frowned._

" _Well you haven't looked at me like that since we were arguing in Starling city, I'm gonna go ahead and vote_ _ **'no'**_ _to whatever it is your planning." Felicity told him flatly with a glare._

" _You don't even know what the plan is," he argued._

" _Well? Is it as stupid as the last one?" she goaded not backing down from his stare._

" _Marrying me wouldn't be stupid." Oliver said it like he wasn't even aware it was coming out of his mouth._

 _Felicity blinked sitting straight up in surprise at his answer as she grit out an incredulous "Debatable….ow." she touched the back of her palm to her head, she'd moved to fast._

 _Oliver was on her in seconds, "are you alright? What happened? Is it the baby?" he touched her face, her shoulders and cradled her head before she shook him off._

" _I'm fine, we're fine. And by that I mean me and the baby,_ _ **you're**_ _out of your damn mind." She told him through narrowed eyes as she cradled her stomach. "Especially if you're idea of a marriage proposal is bringing me someone's head." She hissed and he sat back on his heels from where he'd kneeled before her._

" _In league tradition I may bring my betrothed the head of their enemy as a token of good will. That way, I can go help your friends in Starling city and be granted permission to take people with me." Oliver explained quietly his hands itching to rest on her knees as she sat in front of him._

" _There wouldn't even be a ring?" she asked stuck in her own head as she looked past him, his plan was ridiculous._

" _Are you saying yes?" his lips twitched as he caught her swinging foot coming to kick him in his hand, he could get her a ring. It wasn't traditional but… "You didn't even ask me anything and I don't know if you've noticed Oliver but I'm still kind of completely mad at you." Her fiery eyes turned to him and he sighed still holding her foot, he stared at the slightly swollen flesh with a soft smile despite his tight chest._

 _He'd imagine spending his whole life with her for years, but never like this._

" _I know," he began quietly, "I just don't know how else to help you."_

" _You do Oliver, you just don't want to." Felicity told him sadly pulling her foot from his grasp to tuck them under her legs. He sat in front of her silently on the ground until she'd finished reading and eventually fallen asleep against the arm of the couch._

-0-

He returned to her on a Thursday.

Where there was a god damn ritual about to take place where people were going to see him give her the damn head. Felicity wasn't so sure she wouldn't throw up at the sight of dead person despite how good her morning sickness had been lately.

She stood with a chipper Ra's and members of the league. She was dressed in a ceremonial robe; if that wasn't an omen she didn't know what was. Probably how content Ra's looked. Felicity couldn't figure him out, he didn't like this, them, her, she knew that so why was he-?

"Are you excited my dear?" Ra's asked her getting her attention with a raised brow.

She grit her teeth and hoped it was more smile than grimace. Ra's thought they had fully reconciled, she wasn't sure whether he actually bought that but the charade was important to her protection.

"Oh yeah, definitely, this is all super romantic."

Well she hadn't to say it like that; stupid filter was still broken after all these years.

Ra's let out a short genuine laugh, "yes well I did warn you my son was quite the traditionalist. I knew it wouldn't be long before he'd made you his permanently. Don't worry dear we will find some robes to fit you."

Felicity mentally pictured stabbing every inch of his skin and dipping him in battery acid as she nodded again with her own forced amusement. He should not be poking the pregnant bear right now no matter who he was.

"Ah look they've arrived." Ra's stood taller, stepping forward when Oliver's party approached parting the sea of members. The party all knelled before him on the open stone as he addressed the league.

Before she knew it Oliver was presenting her a large ornate box. Oh god this was really happening...

She was NOT opening that, her stomach was already rolling. She made eye contact with Oliver to tell him just that with her eyes. He looked apologetic as he opened the box and she tried very hard not to recoil, the smell alone…He snapped it shut quickly and she grimaced through another smile, Oliver eyed her wearily before he continued on with his required speech. She didn't blame him; he got up close and personal with her morning sickness just last month.

 _She'd bolted from their bed and barely made it to the bathroom before she was heaving slumped over the sink. Oliver, the super ninja had thought someone was attacking them briefly before he stumbled in after her. He blinked sleepily at the situation getting his bearings._

 _She was about to weakly tell him to go away, or maybe shout something dramatic like 'you did this to me' but she felt another wave and turned back to the sink. Felicity felt his familiar hands run through her hair pulling it off her face, soothing circles on her back when she whimpered from more nausea. She hadn't been nauseous too much during her pregnancy and was feeling dizzy and a sharp pain to her head from its unexpected force. He kept his hands on her as she continued to get sick again, rubbing his hand constantly on her back and holding her hair in another fist, managing to sooth her scalp in the process._

 _He quietly asked her if she thought she was finished ten minutes and a false heave later. She only managed to nod weakly and accept his arms as he lifted her to the counter. Oliver had then wordlessly wiped her face with a wash cloth and rummaged for her tooth brush. He asked her if she would fall and then left silently when she grumbled a 'no' leaning on the wall to her left before she could stomach brushing her teeth._

 _Felicity remembered sluggishly going through the motions before Oliver presented her with a glass of water that she drank and spat from. He filled it again and urged her to drink more._

" _No," she muttered her eyes scrunched up, still in pain._

" _You have to drink Habeeb." He told her nudging the glass at her again._

 _Her eyes flew open at his words and they both paused staring at each other, remembering the same moment when they had met. It was the exact same words. Her eyes filled with tears without her permission and she slid off the counter avoiding his gaze as she took the water from his grasp. She muttered to herself about pregnancy hormones before she composed herself to speak again._

" _I'll drink it," she told him quietly as she slowly moved past him out the door. Oliver remembered hiding in the bathroom for twenty minutes so he wouldn't hear her crying._

-0-

After Oliver said the most unromantic words one could hear after being offered a head instead of an engagement ring and Ra's said his piece it was time for her to make a formal acceptance. Felicity said the required words that she had memorised; telling herself it was what was best for now. Ra's wouldn't kill her if she became the heir's bride, even though Oliver denied his worries they both knew why he'd pushed for this and why she had accepted. Felicity zoned out afterward, did they really need an audience for this super weird thing?

She realised it then. The room they were in was different than normal, Ra's expression. She caught Talia's eye then but she looked away from her. Felicity's stomach dropped and she placed her hands protectively on her bump. She assessed the room again, more, like how Oliver taught her to…What was missing? What was wrong? What was happening?

Ra's eyes caught hers as he began to talk about _her_ offering to her betrothed.

It clicked to her before it did to Oliver.

Felicity's arms were seized by the closest members, Ra's favourites before she could react.

Her offering would be to be Oliver's completely; she saw the recognition in Oliver's eyes as soon as Ra's said, " _to bare his mark."_ The mark she used to trace so many times before she fell asleep, kissing the old raised flesh softly.

She was going to be branded with Oliver's arrow.


	5. Chapter 5

"What are you- GET AWAY FROM HER!"

It's a blur to Felicity; all she could hear was the sound of her own heartbeat in her ears and Oliver's grunts and screams of protest. She was hoisted forward and chains were lowered from the ceiling.

She fought, but it was difficult. Felicity tried to kick out as she was cuffed to the chains, a scream tore from her own throat when the hand holding her stomach was pulled into the other cuff.

She tried to focus, keeping precariously on the ground but all she could hear was Oliver screaming. She had never seen anything like it. Ra's was shouting at him and it took a quarter of the room to hold Oliver. Felicity tried to find composure as Ra's finally approached her. She side eyed the remaining two guards on her either side and clenched her teeth.

"Why are you doing this?" she couldn't help but ask and he tilted his head in a way that reminded her of Oliver's contemplative expression but far more sinister.

"I'm just giving him what he wanted, he wanted the traditional marriage. You accepted his offering 'Litl Sen, there is nothing I can do." Ra's actually shrugged slightly, a shift of his shoulders and Felicity glared openly tugging on her chains.

"Does this look like something he wants?" she hissed still hearing Oliver trying to break free across the room.

Ra's stepped closer and she tried to shift away, curl in, but it was useless in the chains, she was starting to feel light headed.

"You will complete the ceremony." Ra's told her emotionlessly and motioned to someone behind her, she tugged again in panic, trying to find a friendly eye where there was none. Most people were busy with Oliver or nursing superficial wounds.

"I will," she told him and the room went silent as her voice carried. She distinctively heard Oliver make a noise that sounded more like a wounded animal. "After, please Ra's…the baby. I'll even do it the very next day just…" she trailed off looking for something in his cold eyes but she could only see her own fear reflected in them.

Ra's stepped forward towards her and she could feel herself shaking now, "you may be able to control my son, but _I_ control both of you. This will serve as a reminder of that." He whispered quietly to her, Felicity closed her eyes at his final words. "If you're strong enough to carry his mark there should be nothing to worry about."

"Shall we begin?" he said louder as he circled around her, talking to the room now.

"She's six months pregnant!" Felicity felt a tear leave her eye as Oliver shouted at the top of his lungs. " **I swear to god I** **'** **ll kill you."** Felicity opened her eyes at the malice of his threat and found Oliver's eyes in the sea of assassins. His eyes were focused behind her, at Ra's.

" _Please_ father," Oliver begged him, in public no less. Felicity had never seen such emotion in his face in public before. Practically undone, blood on his face mixed with sweat with his exertion as he continued to struggle.

"It's already done." She heard Ra's say from behind her and then winced at the sound of the iron and flame hissing as it heated up.

"Father," she was surprised to hear Talia's voice but Ra's silenced her without even speaking. Felicity twisted in her chains to see. She didn't have time to ponder her friend when she suddenly saw the two members reach for either side of her robes. She gasped suddenly realising why she was wearing the light satin that closed at the back with three ties, they undid the first two.

" **Don** **'t touch her!** **"**

She felt her robe slipping down her arms slightly, the tops of her chest showing but nothing scandalously indecent. Oliver was turning red and she tried to reassure him with her eyes, wincing as he kicked someone in the head to release himself, another took his place though. Oliver had lost his weapons by now, but blood covered the floor of those who tried to hold him.

"With this symbol you accept Al Sah- Him, with your body and with your life."

 _-0-_

" _Did it hurt?" Felicity asked quietly and Oliver didn't have to open his eyes to know what she was referring to as she traced his brand gently._

 _He was lying on his stomach with his arms underneath his head, one hand was idly sifting through her hair as he watched her face lost in thought. "I guess," was all he managed and she huffed placing her palm over the deep marks frowning._

" _It was my initiation," he explained his lips twitching when she frowned obviously thinking about her own. "Not into the league but as the heir, it was an honour." He said without feeling, like it was just something that he was expected to say._

" _Painful honour, couldn't they just bake you a cake or something?" Felicity muttered mostly to herself and he let out a huff of laughter moving so he could lean in to kiss her softly. He smiled into the kiss when she did._

" _Not very assassin-y," he muttered barely leaving her lips._

" _Just seems rough considering," she said thoughtfully tilting her head to accommodate him as he moved away from her lips to kiss down her neck._

" _Do you not like my scars?" He asked suddenly, the rare trepidation filling his eyes as he pulled away. Felicity was almost speechless at how utterly stupid that question seemed to her._

" _What? No!" she cried indignantly gripping his shoulder before mumbling, "and that would be awfully hypocritical."_

 _He was going to speak to address the slight against herself but she pulled him closer instead, "you're the strongest person I know Oliver."_

" _These," she began running her hands over the mottled flesh of his chest now that they lied facing one another. "Are just proof of that, their beautiful… Not that I want you to be in pain," she furrowed a brow before looking directly into his eyes._

" _That's what I meant; I don't want you to ever be in pain if you don't have to." She said quietly and Oliver leaned forward to kiss her forehead before resting it against his own._

"أناأحبككثيرا _"_

 _Her lips pulled into a smile as she understood his words and returned them in his native tongue. He smiled lovingly and somewhat proudly in return. Good; it mustn't have been as awful as her Arabic usually was._

" _I think your scars are beautiful to." He told her as his hand dropped to her shoulder and neck where he traced the scar there and she flinched in obvious disagreement._

" _Maybe the ones I didn't deserve," was out of her mouth before she could think properly._

" _This would have killed you Felicity," He said suddenly seriously, "you told me as much."_

 _She looked confused now; they'd never discussed that scar. He sighed, "When I kissed you for the first time." he mumbled and her eyebrows still looked perplexed as she ran through that moment in her brain before the moment of realization hit her._

" _It bothers you more than the others," he said quietly, observationally as he traced the scar with his thumb. The rest of his hand curved protectively behind her neck holding her in place as he predicted what he privately called her 'rabbit eyes' to appear as they often did when something about her past was brought up. She looked for a way out._

" _How could you say you deserved this," he continued trying to hold her eye's which were avoiding his._

" _Forget it Oliver," She tried calmly but for once he pushed shaking his head softly with understanding._

" _Is it guilt?" he asked quietly knowing he was right when her eyes finally locked onto his for a moment before skirting away again._

 _She took a deep breath and pulled away to collect herself. Oliver watched her as she mentally and physically prepared to give another piece of herself to him. The sheets drew further away from him as she cocooned herself in them and began to pick at her nails._

" _There was a man we met on the island," She began steadily and Oliver sat up to lean against the headboard as he listened. He deciphered that the 'we' she was referring to was the friend she was stranded with. He'd learned that much as she'd had to give his father a brief understanding as to how she ended up on Lian Yu. A boating accident._

" _He helped us along with another woman, Shado..." he watched her eyes glaze as she talked. The way they did sometimes still when she heard specific loud sounds or thunder. "Long story short we were captured by mercenaries. The leader tied up Shado and me and held a gun to our heads telling Sara to choose between us." She stopped her nervous picking to look up at Oliver with the deader eyes than when he found her dying years ago._

" _I should have died."_

" _She chose you," Oliver said clearing his throat._

 _Felicity shook her head, "not really, i-it just happened so f-fast." Oliver pushed forward off the head board and onto his knees in-front of her to grab her wringing hands._

" _Hey hey hey it's okay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." He rubbed her hands with more care trying to soothe her anxiety._

" _You wouldn't be here."_

" _What?" she asked confused at his words allowing him to reach up and remove her lip from her teeth where it was worrying off her skin, he rubbed it gently with his thumb._

" _I'll be thankful everyday it wasn't you." He told her firmly and he watched as the tension sagged out of her at his words before she looked away again._

" _H-He he got so mad, he loved Shado... But then he was hurt- the medicine we gave him, it made him crazy..." She slotted her fingers in between his large ones again and again as she spoke a hundred miles a minute determined to finish what she started, no matter how disjointed her words were now._

" _He blamed Sara," She touched her scar again and Oliver felt his confusion grow when she didn't speak again._

" _Then why-"_

" _He loved Shado, He said he was going to take away what Sara loved the most…He tried to cut my head off, the medicine, it changed him."_

" _She loved you." Oliver said quietly in understanding before he stiffened as another thought occurred to him._ _ **'The last person who kissed me almost killed me.'**_ _Oliver had the feeling that he did more than try to kill Felicity in his rage._

" _Yeah I loved her too." Maybe not in the way Sara had wanted her to but she'd loved her. She always would._

 _Oliver decided that night after she'd fitfully fallen asleep that if he ever found the man who'd hurt Felicity he'd kill him himself. Maybe he'd even cut off his head. Decapitation wasn't usually Al Sah-Him's thing but it would be somewhat poetic..._

 _-0-_

All she remembered was that it burned.

She already felt dizzy and she immediately began to sway, all noise had muted to her ears but the sound of her flesh burning.

It kept burning.

She was on fire.

It hurt; it just kept hurting until it didn't, until everything turned black.

" **FELICITY!"**

Now it felt as if she was under water, the voice was far away, but just from her grasp.

"Felicity? Felicity baby open your eyes for me," there was pressure on her face.

"Saheem you need to move away so I can help." She heard Talia foggily through the rushing in her head.

"Ol-ver?" she tried to sit up but winced as blinding pain rippled through her shoulder.

"Ahhhh!"

"Shh shh everything's going to be okay habibti" She felt Oliver's hands on her shoulders easing her back down.

"The baby!" She shouted trying to sit up again, frantically moving her hands to her stomach.

Oliver didn't answer and she watched him look to Talia speaking softly to not alarm Felicity, "can we move her yet?"

"I need to get her to my equipment, but she has to stay flat," She told him calmly but he could hear his sister's worry seeping into her tone, she was worried about the baby.

"Then we use a stretcher, I'll carry her." he told her briskly trying to remain on task even though his mind and body were screaming.

Talia quickly stood nodding, "I already called for one they're-"

" **Get out, leave it and get out,"** Oliver told his team who were standing at the door; he turned quickly when he felt Felicity squeeze his palm.

"Snot t-air faul." She said trying to clumsily pat his hand.

"We have to move now brother," his sister warned sternly and he let out a roar of frustration as his team moved in with the stretcher, laying it beside her, he glared for good measure as they watched him warily with down cast eyes. They hadn't fought him during the ritual, but they hadn't been anywhere, deep down he didn't blame them but he was to angry now, angry and blinded with worry.

He smoothed Felicity's hair out of her face, and she winced in pain groaning slightly.

"Hurts," she muttered.

Oliver felt his heart constrict realising she was talking about her stomach. "I know habeeb I know, everything will be alright." Oliver gestured more with his eyes to the three members of his team present to bend and shift her onto the stretcher carefully.

She was raised and moving out of the door in seconds with careful precision as they followed Talia to her working courters. She was laid on a bed as Talia began her tests, Oliver by her side. She wanted to dress the wound on her back but Felicity only rasped out, _"baby first_ " and then later, _"no drugs, my baby_."

They were now waiting for movement from her stomach; Felicity hadn't felt too much yet in her pregnancy, nothing beyond what only she could feel to Oliver's dismay. But his sister was worried; he could see it in her eyes. He'd also seen the blood on the bottom of Felicity's robe his sister had concealed from her.

Oliver had moved after Talia banished him, but only to pace across the room. His team guarded the doors promising resolutely that no one would be getting past them. Sarab and Tatsu looked somber as they did so. He'd stepped outside to be updated by Sarab when he could hear Talia and Felicity fighting weakly. He approached quickly hoping to dispel the disagreement, "what's going on?"

"She keeps refusing my medicine." Talia said glaring at a stubborn Felicity who was barely functioning after Talia had taken a look at her brand.

"Drugs hurt babies." She'd replied drowsily.

"There won't be a baby endless you listen to me!" His sister suddenly snapped slamming down a medical tool on her cart.

"Silence sister!" Oliver growled looking at Felicity's scared face. "Just do what you have to do to make them safe," he told Talia looking right at Felicity; "Both of **them**."

There was a lot of waiting and checking. It was terrifying. Talia had left them at some point, sleeping in the other room until she was needed again.

It was hours later when she felt the baby move, she gasped and he leapt from his chair in a panic leaning over her side, "what-" Felicity grasped his hand and pressed it firmly over her abdomen.

Tears were in her eyes as she choked, "I can feel them."

Oliver felt his own tears falling on their joined hands and before he knew it he was sobbing uncontrollably, he couldn't even remember the last time he'd cried and now he couldn't stop it.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He kept saying over and over again and Felicity's hand moved carefully to his head. She was more lucid now and therefore more withdrawn from touching, but despite this she raked her nails over his head like she used to when he was upset.

"You didn't know, I know that Oliver." She whispered to him but he shook his head that had now taken residence over their hands on her belly.

"No, no, no. _I took you away Felicity_. I'm _so_ sorry." His tear streaked face turned sideways to look at her expression. "None of it matters now, _only you_ , always you. _Both_ of you." He rubbed her stomach and he saw Felicity's tears again as her body shook with her crying.

" _I couldn_ _'_ _t get to you."_ He said brokenly into her stomach. "I'm meant to protect you." He thought of the way she crumpled, crying out with muffled resistance before she blacked out completely, limply hanging from the chains. He remembered screaming and breaking through them to get to her. He held up her body as he violently ripped at the cuffs with one hand before his sister helped him.

He remembered his father leaving, just walking away without a word.

He remembered begging her to wake up.

He never wanted to feel that way again.

 _He wouldn't_ _survive it._

"We're okay."

"But you _were_ _'n_ _t_ ….and now you have it, my mark, all of me…the bad… he's right, _I did this to you_ , I really am a monster."

"Oliver you listen here. No matter how I feel right now, where we are, I'm not ashamed of you. You didn't do this to me, only one man is responsible... You've loved me for five years Saheem there's nothing monstrous about that."

"Six, I've known you six years." His eyes snapped to hers with sheen.

She smiled softly at his firm words in response; she'd loved him from the beginning too.

-0-

" _If you detest me so much why did you insist on partnering with me?" Oliver asked annoyed as he stood atop the roof top with Felicity's Robin Hood crossdressing friend._

" _I don't trust you, or like you." She added with a sardonic smile he couldn't help but hum at._

" _The feelings mutual," He muttered as he scanned the building they were waiting for Slade to appear in._

" _Why is that? I've met you a total of twice and you ended up kidnapping my best friend." Sara asked with genuine curiosity._

" _Felicity has plenty of friends at home." Was all he said going back to ignoring her presence._

" _Do you hear how deluded you sound?" Sara sneered but he kept his composure easily. She may fight now but she wasn't raised a warrior. She wasn't skilled at regarding the whole picture, seeing the whole board, concealing her emotions to not jeopardize the mission._

" _It's not a lie, she's a likeable woman." He said with a slight tilt of his lips knowing it would anger the small blonde woman._

" _I'm aware," she drew out with restraint, "it's why we became friends after she broke my Gameboy and then fixed it all in the same apologising ramble when we were six."_

 _Oliver's eyes flashed dangerously and she smirked finally getting a reaction out of him._

" _Are you honestly threatened by me?" She asked with an incredulous scoff._

" _Don't flatter yourself" he mocked with a cruel smile._

" _Well then what is it? I know she's in love with you. I saw it that day when you came for her." Sara snapped annoyed._

" _She liked this; you and your team. Your attempt at being a civilian, a careful construction on your part seeing as how you spend your spare time beating up thugs in poorly camouflaged costume…But when you appeared in the media alive…"_

" _She wanted to see me?" Sara asked with incredulity and hope that Oliver pitied._

" _She thought she could do it to, be_ _ **normal**_ _." he said the word with a bad taste. "She wanted me to come with her, but returning here, to this. It would have ruined her, she wasn't ready."_

" _She chose you." Sara said observationally with similar distaste although restrained._

" _She did." He said trying to squash the petty part of him that felt the need to throw that in her face._

" _She didn't choose you this time." Sara replied just as cooly._

" _Yet I have her all the same." He retorted with the possession he used when he snapped at Thea in the lair. It was a tone that set her teeth on edge._

" _ **What's staying going to do to her now?"**_

 _Was the last thing she said before they were forced into action as the siege descended upon them._

 _-0-_

She'd almost been killed; their child had almost died because he was a coward. Because he refused to let her go, refused to let go with her.

He'd failed her.

Staying here was going to kill her one way or the other.

She'd been right. His father would sabotage them.

He couldn't get her out now though. If the pregnancy continued as it should it would be even harder to flee with a small child. That and his father would come for them.

 _His father._

Oliver gritted his teeth in anger. He had to confront him. It was the only way to leave. But Oliver wasn't sure he was strong enough to defeat Ra's in combat. What if he fell? What would become of Felicity? Their child?

They weren't safe now, clearly, if this night had taught him anything it was that.

He couldn't confront his father right now with Felicity so vulnerable. He'd have to bide his time and put certain measures into place first. But there was one thing he could do now and that was send his father a message; One that wouldn't be misread.

A bloody one.

He ran their own spears right through their bodies that night, pinning them to the wall like flies. He made sure to nail their hands together above their heads to the wall with one of his arrows; the hands that had touched his Felicity, that had been complicit to her branding when they held her down and pawed at her dress.

Al Sah-Him wiped the lingering blood off his hands as he turned and left the entrance to his father's wing.

 _Game on._

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _._

AN/I'm sorry about the delay. I had so many technical problems with this chapter, even uploading it. Thank you to everyone still reading, all the messages asking about it kicked my butt in gear, Thanks for sticking with me:)


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